TIME ─ JAEYONG

030⸰

the atmosphere of the room gave him a surprising welcoming feel as yuta's mom shut the door behind them. there was a humidifier running off in the corner of her desk and incenses giving off the relaxing aroma of lavender. the reclining chair wasn't stiff but soft and snugly, like an embracing motherly hug.

the soft tick of the metronome on the dark cherry wood table lulled taeyong to rest his jittering mind. her voice was smooth and velvety, he found it soothing to listen to. the beginning to their session was filled with questions, aimed towards finding out about his past.

he was hesitant to answer but she comforted him, stating she was here to help and if she wanted to do so, he needed to comply. and so he did.

he told her about his past, everything he dealt with and was faced against. he spilled his darkest times and his brightest times. she listened intently as he emptied his heart out, just like he had done with jaehyun but this time with more details and emotions.

he spilled the secret about jaehyun giving him time but she wasn't fazed by it. she nodded and kept eye contact with him the entire time. she let him know that she was there for him when he got choked up by certain memories. by the time their session was over taeyong felt a sense of relief.

but he wasn't fully content. he wanted more of the experience, professional advice and guidance so he scheduled another appointment for that next day. during that appointment she had him lay back and hypnotized him. she wanted to get deeper into the root of his pain that he seemed to not know how to ease.

"taeyong, tell me... are you still fighting against the urge to love again?" he nodded. "and why is that?"

"i—i don't want anything bad to happen to him..."

"this him you're speaking of. tell me who it is."

"jaehyun."

"and what do you think will happen to him if you openly start to love him."

taeyong bit his lip, his eyes quivering from under his closed lids. "h—he'll die..."

"like ten? like your parents? like doyoung?" he nodded again. "but let's picture this, you've openly admitted your love for him and nothing bad has happened. what is your life like now?"

taeyong paused as he imagined it. "i—i'm happy...."

"why are you now happy?"

"i'm happy because... nothing bad has happened. the weight is lifted off my shoulders. the void is filled..."

"so you're saying loving jaehyun will fill the void you've felt after so long?" he nodded. "taeyong, do you love jaehyun?"

he gulped. "i want to..."

"taeyong," she repeated more sternly. "do you love jaehyun?"

tears slipped from the corners of his eyes. "yes."

"so deep down you know you love him but you're still fighting with yourself to deny it because you're afraid he'll die and leave you like the others."

"yes." she took a tissue from the box and gently wiped away his tears.

"do you want to continue suffering?" he shook his head. "then openly accept the love you have for jaehyun."

"but—"

"but nothing. say it out loud. say what you really want to say." his lips trembled. more tears trailed down his cheeks. "come on taeyong."

"i—i love... i love jaehyun."

...

jaehyun didn't know what to expect when yuta's mom called for him to come down to her office. he didn't have an appointment for another week. but then it dawned on him that maybe his parents had called her and they were waiting for him to arrive to snatch him back home. or she was about to yell at him for running away from home.

he walked past the receptionist and stopped at her door. he took a deep breath then knocked twice. her voice sounded from behind the door telling him it was okay to enter.

when he stepped inside he noticed taeyong sitting with his head hung low. he furrowed his brows. "please shut the door jaehyun."

"is something going on?" taeyong shifting on the couch sent jae's attention over to him. he took a long deep breath then rose.

"i'm sorry for putting you through my never-ending emotional roller coaster of a life. i'm sorry for pushing you away when all you did was help me. i'm thankful for you jaehyun. thankful for you not leaving me, thankful for you getting me the help i need."

"taeyong what's happening? i'm so confused."

"i'm sorry it took me this long to accept my feelings and to accept your feelings for me but i'm ready now."

"ready for what?" jaehyun felt like if this went on any longer he would scream. it didn't help that yuta's mom was now sitting at her desk, reading through some papers as if this wasn't happening right in front of her eyes.

"for me to tell you i've fallen in love with you like you have with me."