within a months time, the storm brewing within johnny seemed to cease. it was a constant crusade but taeil was always there to pick him up when he fell to his knees. he wiped his tears, held him close, shielded him from the rain and robust winds. johnny had eventually spoken to his mother. the talk was sincere and had released many pent-up feelings and emotions from both sides.
...
"mom... i know there's a lot of unspoken words between us and i know it's hard for you but please, please answer my one question." he took a shaky breath. "you treat me like shit because dad left us right? dad gave me his answer but i want yours."
in that instant she broke into tears. "i'm sorry. i'm a horrible mother for doing so but yes. i blamed you despite knowing it was all my fault. i knew your father never truly loved me but i held on thinking you would be our relationship saver but when you weren't i grew angry and bitter. i should have never strung my resentment onto you but i couldn't put it on myself as stupid as that sounds."
the truth was body numbing but johnny had prepared himself for this. his only family did this to him, it was a shame but it was also life. not every family could be happy and picturesque. it's just devastating that his family fell into the category of not being so.
"mom, before i step out of your life like i did dads... tell me if you'll change and want me to stay. tell me you'll get better and treat me like your actual son! i'm willing to give you a chance and i hope you take it, unlike dad..."
johnny prayed she would change. losing both parents would cause his world to wither beneath him completely. "johnny..." she pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, her head nuzzling the crook of his neck while tears flowed down like a cascading waterfall. "i don't deserve you."
"mom─"
"i promise to change. i want you in my life youngho. i can't lose you too. i'm so sorry."
...
their relationship was far from fixed. there was still mountains, cracked roads and rivers to be crossed but all of that didn't seem like an immediate threat to johnny. he was content with knowing after all of those the road ahead would be fixed and smooth. there was one last issue he needed to fix. his relationship with taeil.
every morning he woke up to taeil's soft skin, warm embrace, and loving/encouraging words. he told himself he couldn't let it slip past him like before. he got the chance to appreciate it for the better this time around.
the mere deliberation of losing taeil nearly brought him to tears. no amount of drugs and alcohol could amount to the utter merriment taeil left upon johnny. it was when taeil returned from his daily walk in the rain did johnny positioned himself on one knee in front of the door. it wasn't a marriage proposal but it was a proposal for better times together.
taeil jumped at the sudden appearance of johnny kneeling. he pulled out his earphones, hesitantly shoving them into his pocket. "you scared me. what are you doing johnny? are you praying?"
"taeil who prays on one knee?"
taeil shrugged, his lips in a slight pout. "dunno. who just chills in a kneeling position?"
this time johnny shrugged. "someone whose about to purpose." taeil felt his lungs stop functioning. he felt heat slowly creep up his neck. "it's not what you think. just hear me out." taeil still couldn't feel anything functioning other than his heart that suddenly started to pound against his chest.
"o─okay."
"i've always been so blind to your love. you were there when i needed someone to talk to. you held me as i cried. gave me a warm loving place to stay. helped me find my missing strength. supported me through my dark times. brought me out of those with your light. the list goes on and on. it took me going through rough times to finally realize all of this and i couldn't be more thankful yet remorseful. while you gave me your all i gave you nothing in return. how selfish right?" taeil's eyes and nose prickled as tears glossed over his eyes. "it's my turn now. i'm going to love you, cherish you, protect you─"
johnny rose to his feet, his own eyes now watering. "i can't believe this is happening." taeil chuckled through his tears. johnny wiped at the tear with his thumb.
"i'm sorry i kept you waiting. but as i was saying before you interrupted me," he chuckled as well. "will you let me show you how serious i am about us now?" no words needed to be spoken.
all it took was an eager nod from taeil for johnny to take the smaller male into his arms. time was extraneous as the two stayed in each other's arms, leaving feathery light kisses on each others skin.
✿
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happy (late) new years everyone! sorry for being inactive but i'm back since this story only has 6 more chapters left! let's finish strong! tysm for reading ❤️
