TIME ─ JAEYONG

044⸰

─ two weeks later

✿

the late autumn air faded into winter's ice-cold mornings. taeil sat in his small kitchen, watching the steam from his coffee infiltrate the air. he hadn't heard from jaehyun since the cruise, which was very unsettling. he hoped his best friend was safe and doing well wherever he was in the world.

as he wandered around his house he reminisced all the times where he didn't feel alone. he looked towards the stairs, where he chased jaehyun in a fury after he had gotten caught having johnny over. his eyes traveled over to the door, where he found jaehyun and taeyong sleeping after doyoung's death.

to the couch, where taeyong had passed out after having one drink too many. he missed them. he hadn't realized how sad his life truly was without his best friend in it.

ever since the cruise things hadn't been the same. yuta hadn't contacted him, for he was too busy sorting out his new life with sicheng. johnny seemed to want nothing to do with him seeing as every message he sent went left unanswered and read. "ah..." he sighed. "is this considered my mid-life crisis?" he truly didn't know.

✿

as much as he didn't want to be here, johnny found himself in front of his dad's house after hours of aimless walking around the streets of seoul. it was late in the afternoon, the sky already dark and grey from the incoming rain clouds.

his hands felt clammy as he reached for the brass door knocker. he thought about his past decisions every waking moment until finally, it became too much for him to bare.

what yuta said that day on the cruise ship was everything johnny needed to hear to start his path of ridding his own demons. this, his father, was the start. their relationship was toxic for him. he was no role model.

"youngho?" his father questioned as he pulled open the door. johnny looked up at him, shocked to see his usual bloodshot eyes normal. "what are you doing here?"

"you aren't high?"

"sadly. my dealer is in the process of making a new batch for me." he should have known, but it still pained him. it always did but this time around he embraced it. "come in. want your usual?"

"i actually came to ask you something, if you don't mind." his father shrugged and sat on the leather couch where he motioned for johnny to join him, in which he did. "why did you treat mom like shit?"

"excuse me?" his father was taken aback, perplexed.

"you came home under the influence almost every day. you cheated on her with multiple women, all in the same week. what did she ever do to you? she loved you!"

his father laughed like this conversation was so humorous. he turned to johnny, his expression unbelievable. "what's wrong with you? where is all this coming from?"

"i just want answers dad." he answered exasperatedly. his father sat in silence before complying.

"i never wanted your mother to be someone that stayed in my life longer than necessary. she trapped me after telling me she was pregnant with you. i wanted to live my life. i was young, didn't want to be tied down. sure, she was a good fuck but there were better ones, way fucking better." he chuckled. "i only stayed with her because of you; you know i love you but the moment you grew old enough to where you didn't need both of us around i left."