A Storm In Mind

Chapter 7 - Crowded

I woke at 7am the next morning, I'd been asleep for ages, can't say I feel any better for the sleep either. If anything, I just want to fall asleep and not wake up. No-one disturbed me until May-Li came up at half 9. "Ryan, how you doing?" 

"Yeah, okay." I sighed. 

"Dr Bourne's left your blood request form downstairs; shall we go to the clinic this morning?" She asked, 

"Do I have to?" I questioned.

 "Quicker it's done, quicker we're home." May-Li prompted, 

"Suppose, give me half an hour." 

I struggled to get out of bed, my body ached, my heart started to pound and I felt dizzy again. "Get a grip" I said to myself. I eventually made it downstairs to May-Li, 

"It's a fasting blood test Ryan, so I'll treat you after." May-Li said. 

We got into the car and drove to the clinic. There were what seemed like hundreds of people in the waiting room. 

"May-Li, I...I can't, can I just wait out here?"

 "Stay in the car Ryan until I've let them know we're here." She said. 

I breathed deep breaths, not that this was helping. Oh no, that feeling, I was so relieved to see May-Li coming towards the car. 

"Shouldn't be long Ryan" May-Li said. 

As we sat in the car, I looked at May-Li, "I'm sorry May-Li, for everything." I said. 

"Hey come on, nothing to apologise for." She said. 

"But, yesterday, and." 

"Today's a new day Ryan." She smiled. 

Not long after, the receptionist came out to the car. We followed her in, and I sat on the chair in the room. I tried to stay focused on May-Li. 

"Sharp scratch" the phlebotomist said, 

"Ouch!" I cried pulling may arm back. 

"Sorry" she said. Luckily she got the needle in first time; there wouldn't have been a second chance, trust me! Four bottles she took. 

"You flogging that on EBay?" I questioned, she just looked. 

"Well done Ryan, now, chocolate cake?" May-Li said, 

"Great, thanks" I smiled. We called at a lovely tearoom which was quiet; I had a cuppa and some chocolate cake. It really was nice here, so nice to be out of crowded places.

As we drove back home I just rested my head against the back of the seat, not wanting to speak. The purr of the engine was quite soothing, I felt myself drifting off to sleep. My eyes just needed to rest. I don't know how long it took us to get home, May-Li woke me gently and we walked into the house. I went straight to my room and lay on my bed. I must've fallen asleep again. At teatime, Tyler knocked on my door, "you coming for tea Ryan?" he asked, 

"Yeah, be down in a min." I said.

 He closed the door behind him, I was trying to get up and face the others, and then I noticed a piece of paper that had been pushed under my door. 'We miss you Ryan, love Harry and Jeff xx' It read. It made me smile and somehow gave me the motivation to join the others. As I went downstairs, I could hear the dulcet tones of kids coming from the dining room. I could feel my hands sweating, my heart starting to pound. I felt dizzy. I slowly walked towards the dining room, but each step made my breathing harder, just then, Tyler came out of the kitchen "Ryan! Mike Help!" he yelled. Mike rushed out followed by the other kids, he put his arm around me 

"Ryan, you look awful" Tee said, 

"I'm fine, stop fussing." I insisted. 

"I'm going nowhere Ryan," Tyler said as he and Mike helped me to the quiet room. 

I slumped where I landed, Mike asked me loads of questions, but I just couldn't answer, it was like my body was shutting down. 

"Tyler, stay with him and keep him talking whilst I phone an ambulance" Mike said. 

Tyler pulled my limp body towards him, "Ryan, talk to me Ryan," but I just couldn't, I couldn't stay awake, maybe this is what it was like to die?

I felt my body being moved from the sofa, faint voices, nothing I really recognised. Then everything was quiet. When I woke up, I saw Tyler and Mike by my bed. 

"Oh, where am I?" I asked fearful. 

"You're in hospital mate." Tyler said. 

I had no recollection of what had happened to me, how did I get here? Am I going to be ok? So many questions whizzing around my mind and then that familiar feeling.....panic! At least I'm still alive, I tried to reason with myself as I struggled to breathe again.

"Breathe in; breathe out, in, out, Ryan look at me, in, out." Tyler was saying. 

Once I'd calmed I turned to Mike "What happened?" 

"You collapsed Ryan" he said. 

"Why?" I was confused, 

"Doctors pretty sure it's you're anxiety" Mike concluded.

 I rolled my eyes, oh, and now Tyler knows! After a few more tests and a talk with someone from the mental health team, I was finally allowed to go home. 

"Please Tyler; don't say anything to the others?" I pleaded. 

"I won't, I promise Ryan, we're mates." I smiled, but deep down I don't know if I can trust him. 

We got home and some of the older kids were still awake, 

"Ryan you look knackered" Carmen said, 

"Do you need anything?" asked Tee. 

"I'm just tired Carmen and no thanks Tee." 

Tyler came upstairs with me, "Tyler, I'm sorry for everything I've put you through; I know you didn't grass me up, and I am grateful." I said 

"Yeah well, I'm sorry too Ryan, sorry I didn't notice you were sick." I smiled, 

"Don't be, I hide it well."