A Storm In Mind

Chapter 19 - Introductions

I was so anxious about the first session. I wasn't sure what to expect. I'd been given my own individual timetable with all my school classes and therapy for the next week. The day started with a 'meeting', it was just a general gathering and quite relaxed.

I met some of the others in the unit. They had different mental health needs; some schizophrenic; bipolar; eating disorders and then I met Dan. There was a connection I felt with Dan; I didn't know what it was though, I needed to spend more time with him. He was in my DBT group so maybe we could get to know each other better.

Dan seemed subdued, not sure how long he'd been here. I'd only been on the main ward for two days. Some people had formed 'friendships' but I noticed Dan spent a lot of time on his own in the quiet area. I liked the quiet area too; especially when it was full on social activity time. It got quite loud and I had to hide myself away.

I was in the quiet area on Wednesday evening when Dan came in,

"Hey." I smiled but he just looked and put his head down. It felt awkward. I just put my head back into my skate magazine.

After about half an hour "Fancy a drink?" Dan said, "Sorry I just needed to have some headspace" he continued,

"I know that feeling," I smiled, "Thanks" I said. He came back in with two cans of Coke.

"Cheers" he said and we both smiled.

We sat there just chilling out, then "So what's your name?" Dan asked,

"Ryan, I'm new to the ward," I said trying to start a conversation.

"I've been here nearly 4 weeks!" Dan sighed,

"Day 10 for me, 7 days in the ICU; tell me it gets easier please?" I rolled my eyes and smirked.

"Well you get used to the routine." Dan answered without looking at me. I wasn't comfortable with eye contact either so this kind of conversation suits me.

"Where you from?" I asked,

"Barrow, you?" he said,

"Liverpool."

We both stayed in the quiet room until we were called for evening snack. I didn't eat anything, I'm still trying to adjust to it all. I was tired, so I just went to my room. It's quite strange in here, people check up on you all the time. I'd been in my room about 5 minutes laying on my bed with my headphones on when a nurse appeared in the doorway

"You okay?" he asked,

"yeah, just tired" I said, he smiled and left.

I can't wait to go home, I hope what Jim said about planning for discharge is true, I feel claustrophobic in here, there's no getting away from nurses, or therapists, or anyone!