Begin Again

Chapter 10

There is a couple of mentions of mental illness so if you're triggered, I sorry. 

You've been warned. :3

Eva's POV

"You look hot," Evan smirked, leaning against the locker next to mine, "I wonder who it was that motivated you to start working out. I'm pretty sure he was extremely handsome and had beautiful blonde hair."

I smirked and turned to glare at him only to find him striking a pose next to me. He had one leg raised up and one arm across his forehead and a dreamy look on his face. He turned his head and smiled cheekily at me, blue eyes sparkling.

"Sure wasn't this hottie!" he shouted. I snorted and slapped him in the arm, flipping my hair over my shoulder. 

I had decided to lose some weight during the summer, and not by starving myself. I finally came to terms with the fact that Harry and his friends weren't people that I needed to be considering myself with. If Harry thought I was repulsive, then I was going to show him just what he was missing. And judging by the way he was watching me walk down the hall today, he sure as hell noticed. 

So I began to jog, eat healthier, go to the gym everyday. And soon, with Evan's help and motivation, I lost weight. It wasn't easy, but I did it. And I'm proud as hell when I look at myself now. 

"Thank you," I said, smiling at Evan. He smirked and shrugged, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we turned and made our way down the hall. 

"Anything for the girl who helps me get laid," he snorted. I laughed and punched his gut. He groaned mockingly and clutched his stomach before he erupted into laughter. I soon began to laugh as well and we stood there, clutching our stomachs and laughing in the hallways like the dorks we were. 

We stopped when someone cleared their throat behind us. We turned to find Harry standing there, tall and brooding as he held his backpack on his shoulder and sent a small smile our way. I stopped laughing, as did Evan, as he stood up to stand a bit in front of me. Harry shuffled on his feet as he looked at me, emerald eyes blazing into my own. 

"Hi," he said, "uh...you look nice."

I nodded with a tight lipped smile, "thanks..."

Evan hummed and pointed behind him, "I'm just gonna go..."

Before I could stop him, he had taken off for homeroom and I was left with Harry in the hallway.

"So," he said, causing me to begrudgingly turn to face him, "how are you?"

I rose an eyebrow, crossing my arms, "do you care?"

He sighed and slouched his shoulders, looking down before he glanced at me again, "yes."

I rolled my eyes and nodded my head.

"Uh huh," I said, "sure." 

I turned around and started heading to class, jumping when Harry jogged to come in front of me. I scoffed and looked at him.

"Harry, what do you want?" I asked. He looked at me pleadingly. 

"I want to talk," he said, "I...I miss us."

I smirked and shook my head, laughing as I looked down. As much as I wanted to tell him that I missed him too, that I still loved him more than anything, I couldn't. Because I couldn't let him have that much power over me. He still had a huge influence on me. So much so that one mention of his name, and I was crying with want to hold him again. 

"Or is it just because I can finally see my toes now? You're only saying this because I lost weight and suddenly appeal to you just as much as the rest of the girls in this school," I said. His green eyes glazed over with hurt and rejection as he stepped closer.

"Are you insane?" he asked, "you're my Eva. I-"

"I am not your Eva," I said, "not anymore. You lost that privilege to call me that as soon as you chose your friends over me. How's that going by the way? I've heard you're with a different girl every weekend. What's it like to have that much girls trailing after you? Must be nice huh?"

I held his gaze as I walked past him and continued down the hall. He grasped my arm and spun me around to face him.

"It's senior year," he said, "can't we just work on being friends again?"

I laughed at that. 

"You're kidding right?" I asked. He bit his lip and looked at me.

"You want me to ignore all of the hurt you've caused me over these past however many years and just go back to being friends? Just like that?" I said, crossing my arms. He bit his lip and looked down, shrugging weakly. When he brought his head up to look at me this time, I was shocked to discover sadness and defeat in his eyes. 

"You don't know how bad I've had it these past years," he whispered, "without you. I fucked up, Eva. I know I did, but I can't take it back. I can try. And I want to. I want to show you how much you mean to me and how much you've always meant to me. I...I love you."

I shook my head, "you broke me. The doctors almost thought I was anorexic because of the shit your friends put me through. And what did you do to help? Nothing. You just sat back and watched them tear me apart. You even agreed with them!" 

"Fuck, I know," he groaned, wiping his eye as a tear fell down his cheek. He was crying.

In the middle of a fucking school hallway.

"I know and you have no idea how much I want to shoot myself everyday because Evan has you when I don't. Okay? Do you understand how much it sucks seeing you happy with him? You're my Eva. You're supposed to be my best friend and I fucked it up," he mumbled, looking at me. I looked at him helplessly. 

"I don't know what you want me to do," I said. He stepped closer and tucked his fingers under my chin, tilting my head up towards him. He smiled softly at me through his tears as I gazed into his familiar emerald orbs. 

"Just give me a chance," he said, "I'd rather end this year knowing I tried my hardest to get you back instead of wondering what could've happened." 

I bit my lip and looked down to the ground, sighing before I looked back up at him.

"I'll think about it," I said. He smiled and nodded. I nodded in return and turned to make my way to homeroom. 

What had I just done?

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Harry's POV

I sighed as I watched her walk down the hallway. I wanted to cry at the hopeful expression she had in her face when I spoke to her. I ended up crying because of the guilt.

The guilt in knowing that I was merely doing this for a bet, nothing more. 

Despite the fact that she meant everything to me, I was going to end up breaking her heart by the end of the school year.

Why?

Because I like being popular and I deserve to burn in hell for it. 

I'm sorry Eva. I love you.

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I'm really excited for this story. I hope you guys like it so far.

Thanks for reading.

Have  a wonderful day, babes.

I love you!

~S