Fowler: Well, Autobots, in the Pentagon, we've created lifelike Artificial Intelligence robots designed to be a little like butlers. They are coded to be very smart and compliant to any orders. All of them have come out successful... Except for one...
Ratch: why does this matter to us
Fowler: I'm getting there, Gawd I was doing a dramatic pause be patient
Ratch: ....
Fowler: Fr3d3r1ck, or Frederick, as we like to call him, has been having issues with comprehending orders quick enough. He's pretty slow at it. Takes him a while to understand it and accomplish it. We've tried to fix him, but he's made no improvements. Sooo, we are dumping him on you.
OP: Wait what
Fred: *marches in*
Fowler: This is Frederick. He looks incredibly realistic, dressed as nicely as our agents, and never has to change or adjust his appearance. He will be serving you all from now on.
Miko: Awesome! Butler-Bot!
Ratch: He's just gonna get stepped on...
OP: He looks like he's from Men in Black.
Fowler: Fred, introduce yourself.
Fred:
Fred:
Fred:
Fowler: He'll get there...
Fred:
Fowler: well im outta here. *leaves*
*Everyone stares at Fred*
Fred:
Fred:
Ratch: This isn't going to-
Fred: Hello, I am Frederick. I am an Artificial Intelligence robot designed to obey every command given.
Ratch: -work...
Rao: Ooo, kinky.
OP: Hi Fred!!!
Ratch: Whatever. *walks over to computers*
Bulk: So Fred, how are you with live action roleplay...?
*everyone looks at him*
Bulk: you guys know about my reenactments give me a break
Fred: I have never indulged in such an activity. I will do my best.
Bulk: Awesome.
Arcee: We've been needing someone to clean around here for a while, because all of us are way too lazy. This can work.
Ratch: *looks over* Start with vacuuming the bedrooms, Fred.
Fred: Will do.
*Four hours later*
Ratch: *is asleep*
Fred: *turns on vaccuum in his room*
Ratch: *sits up* What the...
Fred: *is vaccuuming*
Ratch: Fred, get out!
Fred: You told me to vaccuum.
Ratch: I told you four hours ago! It's late, I'm trying to sleep!
Fred: I do not understand the command.
Ratch: GET OUT OF MY ROOM
Fred:
Fred:
Fred: Affirmative. *leaves*
Ratch: oh my god.
*The Next Morning*
Miko: Has anyone seen Fred?
Ratch: Not since last night.
Fred: I am here. *comes out of Bulkhead's room with a Cinderella costume put on over his suit*
Ratch: noooo....
Fred: *walks over, glass heels clicking* Would you like me to vaccuum this morning?
Ratch: No, no, it's fine... Just stay out of the way.
OP: *walks in*
OP: *almost steps on Fred*
OP: Fred, move.
Fred:
Fred:
Fred:
OP: ....
Fred: Okay. *moves over*
OP: *sigh*
*knock on door*
Ratch: Fred, go answer the door.
Fred: Answer it?
Ratch: Yes.
Fred: *walks over* Hello, door.
Ratch: Nono, open it.
Fred: *opens it*
June: Hi, I'm here to-
Fred: *closes it and walks back over it*
Ratch: .... No, let her in.
Fred: *walks over and opens it*
June: *steps inside* Uh... Thank you?
Fred: Stranger alert. Shall I terminate?
OP: NO!
Ratch: yes
OP: Fred, go feed the cat or something.
Miko: Oh yeah, you got that cat.
OP: His name is Cream Puff.
Ratch: Fred, here, why don't you go get that dress taken off, we'll handle the guest.
Fred: Okay. *walks away*
June: What is he?
OP: AI robot.
June: huh.
Fowler: *walks in* Hey, 'bots. Good news. We found a facility that Fred could work at, I'm here to get him off your hands.
Miko: Wait, he's leaving?
Bulk: He made the perfect Cinderella!
OP: bbbbut I was going to teach him to play leapfrog
Fowler: Do you really want a dysfunctional robot around here?
*Everyone looks at Fred*
Fred: *got legs stuck in dress, is now rolling around, making loud, metallic thumping noises*
Ratch: You know... He can stay. He fits right in.
OP: YAY!!!
Bulk: Yesss.... I'm thinking Jumanjii tonight...
Miko: Hear that, Fred? You're an Autobot!
Fred: *rolls into a wall, shelf breaks and boxes fall onto him*
OP: He's perfect.
Fowler: Alright, I'll cancel. *leaves*
Ratch: *picks up the boxes and takes the dress off of him* You still running?
Fred: Yes. I will go feed the cat now. *walks away, heels clicking loudly*
OP: Should we...?
Ratch: No.
YOU ARE READING
Transformers Prime: Spoofs and Bloopers
FanfictionTransformers Prime spoofs and bloopers! Need a laugh? Leave it to Team Prime! There are references to other TV shows and movies all over this book. I like to see how many of ya'll notice. It's pretty fun to leave them around and see who recognizes t...
