Falling for Finn

Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

The next few days were the hardest for me. I couldn't even live with myself. I was crushed. The news report says that the heater was on, and something flammable, was near the vent while my mom and brother were taking a nap. Something so simple, led to this.

I ended up having to go to my grandmas house, the one on my moms side, while all of my family sat down in the living room and prayed. Even Abby and Sierra were invited. Yes, most of us cried. There were about 23 of us, and we were all there, for my mom, Rebecca Taylor, and for my six year old brother, Carter Taylor.

A few days later, we had a ceremony, like a funeral, but there was no casket, no nothing. My family, from both mom and dad's side showed up, my moms coworkers, who she called her friends, Abby and Sierra, their moms, people who my mom helped while working at the suicide prevention group.

We all sat in a church, I was in the front, along with my moms mom and dad. While Abby, Sierra and freshly out of the hospital, Finn, were right behind us. We all got to take turns standing up at the podium, sharing amazing memories we had with my mom, and Carter. I was the first I go. I told them about the time when my mom bought me a bike for my 4th birthday, and she taught me how to ride it. I also told about the time when I was 15, and I had my first breakup. She was there for me, through the whole thing. My mom always helped me to stay strong.

Most people shared memories. One girl, looked no older than me, went up to the podium. She spoke:

"When I was 14, I started going to Rebecca's suicide prevention group. I had been diagnosed with severe depression, and my mom made me go. I didn't want to, I almost refused to go. But little did I know, that when I went there, I would no longer have suicide thoughts, but someone there to talk to. Rebecca Taylor died a hero."

And suddenly her eyes filled with tears. She ran down, and went back to where she was sitting. Her mom awaited, standing to hug her. And then everything went silent.

Another person came up. She was a thin middle aged lady. She had naturally red hair, and short. She stood at the podium.

"I knew Rebecca Taylor, not well, but well enough to know she was a great person. But Carter, Carter, Carter, Carter. I am his first grade teacher. That kid, some of the things he told me, made me smile. He was a joy to have in class. Carter always found a way to make someone feel happy."

Just like most people, she started crying and couldn't get anything else out. She slowly walked down, and sat back down.

What people said, was touching. My mom and brother were amazing people. They did so much, they cared about others and not themselves. I don't know what I'm going to do without them. They will always be in my memory, all the good times, all the times I smiles because of those two, all the memories made, they will never fade.

Mom, thank you for always being there for me when I needed you most, even if we would fight once in a while, I know you only wanted the best for me. I love you.

Carter, you always knew how to make someone laugh. You were a great kid, I enjoyed having you as a brother. And those times when mom made me play Legos with you, and we ended up having so much fun together. I love you.

When the service was over, many people came up and hugged me, and cried into my shoulder, while I cried into theirs. They would tell me they would pray for me, and that they were very sorry for my loss. I appreciate that, but no rearrangement of words are ever gonna fix me.

I had to go home with my grandma and grandpa, to their house. We are going to make new decisions for me. Where I will live, where I may possibly go to school. And everything in between.

When we drove to their house in the middle of the woods, the one with the white picket fence, the one my mom grew up in, I looked out the window. And just thought. That's all I could really do at this point. I could barely even talk. And my grandparents knew. So they let me be.

Mom, and Carter, I'll see you someday. I love you.