pepper spray ! tysh

81 | josh

🌧🍃🌧
J

"i just...
wanted it off.
their touch..
i wanted it off my skin..."

"whose touch?"

"i don't wanna say it."

"wait..."
you said barely above a whisper.
you're starting to realize.
i can tell because you don't know whether to be horrified or sympathetic.
you looked at me as if i was no longer someone you knew.
it hurt more than it should've.
my arms twisted around myself, self conscious.
"please stop looking at me like that." i mumbled.

"like what-"

"like i'm insane and disgusting, okay?" i snapped shakily. "i just... i kept scrubbing to get the filth off. and, its still there. and you looking at me that way isn't- it isn't helping. i didn't ask for this. i just- i tried to feel clean and nothing really works."
i feel hot. frustrated. overwhelmed.
defeated. weak.

"you-
you were r-"
you tried to say it,
but the words died out, inaudible.
i read your lips, and bingo.
you've got it.

"yeah."

"how long."

"awhile ago."
it's vague, but what else have i got to lose.

"c'mere," i went back to your embrace, "my strong sweet sunshine."

i cried again.
please never let go, ty.

🌧🍃🌧