philophobia | j.hoseok

21

"are you in any relationship right now?" doctor park asked.
"no."
"have you tried opening up a relationship with someone?"
"no."

"have you been doing anything to help yourself progress?" he asked.

"i'm sorry doctor, but no. my mind has not been focusing on dating anyone," i told him. i heard him give a sigh.

"do you know your condition can end up being serious? constantly being afraid to fall in love can hurt you emotionally. if that happens it can push you to isolation and depression."

i sat there silently not saying a word after that. there were times where i felt like ending it all. but then i couldn't.

"i'm sorry doctor. i'll try my best..."

"i'm not trying to force you so much into getting in a relationship quickly... but slowly. open yourself up to the idea. allow yourself to find attachment with the opposite sex."

i looked at the doctor weirdly. it was so uncomfortable just talking about this, but i knew he meant well.

"thank you."

i left the doctor's building before checking my phone to see chaeri had texted me.

chaeri: hey, that guy came by today.

haesoo: did he? what was he there for?

chaeri: he came by to buy medications
for his sister.

haesoo: and i should know this because?

chaeri: because he came to see
you too.

haesoo: i swear, he never leaves
me alone.

chaeri: yeah, because he likes you.

i read her text over and over again. but i didn't know what to say or think of it.