Everything Blue [ OMHK, Book 2 ]

Epilogue

I awoke slowly, not wanting to leave the soft serenity of unconsciousness. My heartbeat and shallow breathing was all I could hear, and I liked it that way. I reach out to wrap an arm around Tyler, but all I feel are empty sheets.

That caught my attention.

Sitting up, I rub my groggy eyes, disappointed that he hadn't stayed until I woke up. I didn't mind much though, as the memory of last night still lingered fresh in my mind, making me smile.

I just stare at a wall for a few minutes, feeling ecstatic.

That really happened.

Pushing myself up, I go to search for Tyler in the kitchen, but a piece of paper on his pillow caught my attention.

I leaned over and picked it up, humming quietly to myself. It was an envelope, and I frowned as I carefully opened the top. Inside was a single sheet of notebook paper. Unfolding it, I studied the masses of words, all written neatly in black pen.

As I began to read, I smiled at Tyler's cutesy handwriting. It seemed so innocent, just like him.

Dear Jenna,

If you're reading this, you look beautiful today. Anyways, where do I begin?

I've always had a particular longing for something, I just never knew what. I always figured that one day, the love that I felt would be able to placed into somebody or something.

Isn't it weird, feeling like you're in love, but not knowing with what? I've always felt an emotional attachment to things that I don't know of, and memories I've never had.

Restlessness is a constant for me, and all my life, I've just wanted to feel okay with who I am and where I am and what I'm doing, and I don't mean that in an insecure way either. I know that who I am and what I'm doing is great, so I don't quite understand why I've never been satisfied.

I've always been in love with one nonexistent thing or another, and I don't know why. The night we talked on the boardwalk was the first time I began to see things in a different light.

You told me to break the cycle, and that's when I realized that I've never really tried. Columbus is a small place in an ocean of people, and I'm glad you were the one that stuck out the most. Now, I don't make it a particular habit to hold on to a persons words so dearly, but the night at the boardwalk was the turning point for me.

We conversed as if we'd always known each other, and that's when I realized that I was a goner. You didn't treat me any differently, even though I'd supposedly lost my memory. You kept on trying and trying and it was beautiful, just like you.

My dear little red, you're my closure. You're there but you're not, and I didn't know what to think anymore, so I stopped thinking at all. You're a hurricane and I'm trapped in the middle of the chaos where everything is calm, but I can still see the destruction happening around me.

I'm scared that one day, I'm not gonna be in the eye of the storm any longer, and you're gonna realize that you can destroy me. I don't know why I'd let you into my heart and make myself completely vulnerable against the chaos that you have the ability to face me with, but I can't imagine a world where I would ever deny you the simple ability. I don't know what you are quite yet, and I hope I never understand either.

I've finally found something to place all of my love in, and that's you, little red. Thanks to your existence, I can finally break the cycle. You've done me the greatest good that anybody's ever done for me, and I'll never forget that.

You've probably gotten lost along the lines of my ramblings, so let me summarize in a much simpler way.

If you're reading this, I'm long gone.

Please, never think that this was an easy decision. I just knew that I couldn't keep on living like I was. I've always been too trapped in this place, and now I'm finally free.

Please, don't look for me. As much as it pains me to say it, don't even try to contact me. It'll make every bit of this harder for the both of us. Truth be told, I don't even know where I'm going yet, but I know it's someplace far away.

Believe me, I would've loved to bring you along with me, but you have the brightest future ahead of you. I don't want you to lose sight of that, okay? Please go to college and be the best damn neurologist that you can be.

I don't know what I am, and I don't know what we are, and I don't know much about anything, but I am in love with you Jenna Black, and I know that much. If I never have the pleasure of seeing you again, just know that I'll never forget about you. Please don't forget about me, either.

Until we meet again, whether it be in this world or the next, don't forget about me.

I love you,

-Tyler.