Y/n's POV I was driving home, in silence. Silence usually soothes me, but now it's more painful than a punch to the gut. I was deep in my thoughts when headlights swarmed my vision and I swerved to the side of the road. I look to my side and Colby is holding the steering wheel. I look in the back where Lillian sat in her baby seat, she was still sound asleep. Paul had told me to bring her as he was still having a hard time accepting my moms death. "I'm sorry." I said to Colby as I felt blood thud inside of my head. I put my hands on the steering wheel, Colby broke the silence. "Baby you should let me drive. You need to rest. Besides, I think I've slept the whole trip." I slightly smiled and hugged him awkwardly across the seat. In two weeks, my mothers funeral would take place. I planned to bring Will, Everly and Max, seeing as they where my everything for the longest time. As I felt my eyes drop I said "I love you Colby." Before i could hear him repeat it I fell asleep. I looked around and I was in our garden, my mom was in the kitchen, she looked younger and much more beautiful. I mean she was always beautiful, only here her eyes gleamed with happiness and her mouth crinkled at the edges from smiling so hard. But I wish I was the reason. "Momma! Momma!" A little girl, whom I'm assuming is me runs to my mom holding a piece of paper. "Hi baby girl." She said excitedly, the little girl, or me, showed her the paper. "Oh this is beautiful! Almost as beautiful as you!" My dad came out, I would assume this is before his drinking habit had started. He swooped little me up and started tickling her. She laughed the sweetest laugh. "Max! Give me back my toy!" I saw little Everly and little Max arguing. "Becca! You're not the princess!" Everly yelled running to little Rebecca, "Will! Tell her! You love me!" Everly said when little me came running to hug Will. Will pushed her away and, the real me, walked over to where they where playing. I sat down on the grass watching them, listening. "Baby! Don't go too close to the road! Stay on the sidewalk." My mom yelled to little me. "Y/n! I told you that I liked Will." Everly said with tears in her eyes. "It's okay." Little me hugged her and then said "We will always be a team. 'Till the end!" Little me looked at Rebecca and at Max. "Rebecca I said I want to be the princess." Max pleaded as Rebecca took the crown from him. "No! Boys can't be princess that would be gross! Two boys kissing? Ew!" I looked at her, from square one, she had always been a homophobic bitch. Will walked behind Rebecca taking away the crown. "Here you go Max. You be the princess and I'll be the prince." I smiled and then the scene faded. I was brought to our old dining table. A slightly older me, about elementary school me, sat drawing something. She ran to the living room and I walked with her, she had stopped in the doorway watching my parents argue. "Why?! We have a little girl! You can't do that to her! To us!" My mom, first standing had sat down with her hands on her face. "I'm just not the same Amber." My dad said mimicking her position on the sofa across from hers. I had tears in my eyes, little me walked into the room showing them the picture. "It's us! Mommy sits on the couch, I sit in the middle and you next to us!" My dad holds the picture in his hands. He looks at little me and tears fill his eyes, he gets up and walks straight through me. I followed him and he had thrown away the picture. Little me sat at the dining table crying with her head down. "Baby girl. It's okay, sometimes people fall out of love. But one thing is for sure, I will never fall out of love with you." Tears streamed faster from my eyes as the scene faded yet again. My old room, sitting on the bed was middle school me, braces and all. I had pajamas on and had a brush in my hands singing the words to Britney Spear's "Lucky." "If there's nothing! Missin' in my life then why do these tears come at night?!" I had arrived when the song ended and my mom and dad walked in. "You sing like an angel, angel." Dad said ruffling my hair. They had kissed me goodnight and I went to bed. Not moments after I heard yelling coming from the room across from mine. "Our daughter is NOT a burden! She is everything to me and she should be everything to you as well!" My mom whisper yelled. "Amber! Stop trying to get to my head! You're always like this! I'm going out with the guys!" I heard rumbling then glass shattering. Both me's ran out and we walked in on my dad trying to cut my mom. "Dad! Please stop." I said pulling at his arm. The real me stood in the doorway watching. My dad had brought his arm back turning and he had hit me on the nose. Both my parents gasped as my eyes widened. Little me dried her tears and held her nose trying to stop the blood. "Here let me help." Mom got a tissue and I held it to my nose. "Angel, look at me. Baby, I'm sorry I got carried away. That's all." Little me looked away with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry I'm such a bother." She got up and walked to her room I walked with her and she slammed the door. The scene faded and I was left in darkness. "Babe! We're here." Colby said shaking my shoulders. I woke up and saw that we were home. I got Lillian out of her seat with her blanket. She was so small, so gentle. I held her close to me, when I walked into the house Will yelled "Why do you have a baby?!" I glared at him and he quieted down a little "You where gone for at least two weeks. I didn't even know-" with my free hand I managed to smack him. "Stop you fucking twat. She's sleeping." He glared at me and then understood, "Oh my god. Y/n, I'm sorry. I'm so insensitive." He hugged me and I shook my head. The dreams made me realize that everything happens for a reason. I called everyone except for Everly. For some reason, she hasn't answered my calls, and when I texted her she left me on read. I wasn't mad she had a bigger social life than me, she had many more friends. But for some reason her silence made me wonder if she was the fourth person with Rebecca, and Anastasia, that Paul had mentioned. ________________________ It was the day of the funeral and I dressed in my mourning clothes. Colby held Lillian, watching her sleep. When Will knocked on our door I went to open it, "Hey, you guys ready?" I nodded and we got into his car. __________________________ The funeral service had ended and I felt exhausted. I went to the casket with my mother. Paul was there whispering "I'll take care of them," and saying his final "I love you."
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(Paul-Jensen Ackles-Dean Winchester) I was holding Lillian in my arms and whispered with him. "I'm sorry mama." I said in front of her casket. The baby was curled up in my arms. "This is your mom Lillian. I'm your sister, this is your father." I handed Lillian to Paul. "I loved her I really did." Paul said my eyes filled with tears. "You know what the sad part is?" I asked him. "She didn't." He hugged me and I hugged back tight. "You might not be mine but I'll love you like you where mine. The ones that actually are mine didn't want my love." Tears fell fast, stinging as I realized that I, too, loved him. Even if we had just met a month ago. He knew she didn't love him. He knew all of my past, and now I was set to live my future with him and the guys. They where always there for me. Even when I pushed them away, and I love them for that. I know that there was a part in me that hated her. Because she ruined our family. But she wasn't always like that. She was my mother and I loved her because she taught me to not be a stranger. She taught me to be strong. In the sweet, sweet years that she had her head together she taught me to be me, and I love her even though she hurt me. ~ ~ ~ I just went to hug my mother. I'm extremely overwhelmed and I wrote this. *virtual hug* I'm not sorry. As an author it is my goal to make you feel something. Soooo, are you in your feels? . Thanks for your prayers, I'm 50/50 good now and writing this chapter kept my mind off of -that-. Thank you bunches. Word count: 1574
