Daddy Issues - Johnnyboy

32; Don't Blink

    Ponyboy clutched my hand so tightly I almost thought I'd lose circulation. I looked down at my hand and led my eyes up to him, and he was looking at me desperately, almost like he expected some kind of rational decision to suddenly pop into my head like usual but this time, I was at loss for words. We ruined the house because we were frenzy's and needed . . . something and didn't think we could handle being in the room for that amount of time and god, I realized as the lock clicked, my fucking stomach hurt like hell.

"What the fuck happened here?" Sodapop's voice ran through, surprising me. . . . I thought it would be Darrel who would first comment.

        I didn't want to speak out, afraid of how cocky I felt. I wanted to laugh and yell at the top of my lungs that they were idiots, merely nothing more, but I had respect for them, besides. . . they're only trying to help . . . but I guess in the end that only brings more destruction, to be completely fair.

     They finally decided to look at the both of us standing up, and Darry sighed while the others started to clean up, not even acknowledging our presence.

      I looked at Ponyboy again to see him standing in the same way, brows furrowed and eyes filled with confusion. Did they not want to speak with us, or . . . is it the fact that they're just. . . fed up?

      That wouldn't be surprising, after everything me and Ponyboy have put them all through. They just wanted peace from all this chaos, it was just another thing added to their shoulders when we do shit like this. And just as sudden as the confusion came, it left in a heated instant, now replaced with heavy guilt and sadness. God, they looked so tired, all of them. Two-bit's eyes held no light to them, no humor whatsoever, and he looked like he was ready to pass out and that's what he did, right after Soda and Steve moved the cushions back to their place.

I looked to Darry to see him talking with Dallas and it looked like as if Dally were trying to reassure him because he was pinching the bridge of his nose while breathing deeply as Dally whispered comforting words, and rubbed his back a little. I looked to Steve to find him talking with Soda in the kitchen about bills.

"They don't care." I heard Ponyboy whisper and I tugged at his hand and turned to the direction of his room. We stepped in and I kicked the door, in attempts to close it and succeeded. I sigh, and flop back on the bed, ignoring the sting in my abdomen and embraced a heavy heart.

"Can I try something?" Pony suddenly asks.

"Will it get us killed?" He giggled then and shook his head slowly.

"Alright then, spill"

"I just. . . can we--? Uhm-"

"C'mon, dollface, spit it out before you choke," I smirked at him and wiped the slight sweat from his forehead.

"I wanna . . . I want to cuddle with you." Everything stopped. I looked at him and he fidgeted with his fingers, glancing at me and the floor, back and forth.

"Well, goddammit, Pony. All you had to do was ask. I wouldn't have the heart to say no anyway, C'mere." I moved over to the wall of the bed and he immediately smiled brightly while inching his way under the covers with me. He put his head in the crook of my neck silently, and pressed his body against mine tightly, tangling our legs together as well. He put his hand on my chest and made a couple of shapes before sighing contently.

"Are we actually gonna take those pills?" He asks quietly after a long moment of comfortable silence and I think for a minute.

"I don't think so." He kisses my jaw then, sleepily so and I giggle.