Harry Potter Facebook Chats

Hacked Into Dudleys Computer to Check FB

Harry Potter has updated his FB status: Hacked into Dudley's account to check FB.

Ron Weasley likes this

Vernon Dursley: Get back to your cupboard boy!

Harry Potter: No way! there's spiders and shi* in there!

Petunia Dursley: go away! your bothering dudykins

Harry Potter: he's too stupid to know what's going on!

Dudley Dursley: COOKIES!

Rubeus Hagrid: yo bitches, imma take Harry to hogwarts!

Vernon Dursley: I refuse!

Rubeus Hagrid: blah blah blah, I'm taking him!

Vernon Dursley: FINE!

Rubeus Hagrid: let's go shoppin' Harry!

Harry Potter: but I have no money....

Rubeus Hagrid: your parents were loaded and by the way ur famous. nbd

Harry Potter: my scar hurts

Rubeus Hagrid: shut up and get on the train! Oh and run head first into the wall

Harry Potter: you got it!

Ron Weasley: sup I'm ginger

Harry Potter: sup I'm famous

Hermione Granger: sup I'm going to be really hot in a few years

Ron Weasley: nice

Draco Malfoy: I don't like you potter

Harry Potter: that's okay I don't like you either. you seem like kind of a tool

Minerva McGonigall: shut up and put this hat on!

Harry Potter: why?

Minerva McGonigall: bc it talks

Harry Potter: cool

Sorting Hat: sup bro, imma put you in slytherin!

Harry Potter: really? fmfl

Sorting Hat: no dawgh I'm jk, ur totes a Gryffindor!

Harry Potter: fuck yea

Neville Longbottom: help Harry, Malfoy took my ball

Harry Potter: nbd I can rock a broomstick

Minerva McGonigall: you fly like a pimp! ur the new Gryffindor seeker for quidditch

Harry Potter: what's that mean

Minerva McGonigall: your gonna chase the snitch

Harry Potter: dayumm right I'm gonna chase some snatch!

Minerva McGonigall: no snitch. You don't like girls yet.

Harry Potter: fuck

Ron Weasley: Hermione sux

Hermione Granger: sexual tension! imma go cry in the girls bathroom!

Prof. Quirell: troll in the dungeon!

Ron Weasley: come on harry!

Harry potter: done I'm a total boss!

Rubeus Hagrid: Hermione come check out my dragon!

Hermione Granger: OMG! it's huge! I don't think you should be showing little girls that!

Rubeus Hagrid: shut up and stop being a little bitch!

Harry Potter: soo how do we get past fluffy?

Rubeus Hagrid: just play it a song.

Harry Potter: awesome! hey Ron, Dumbledore gone so snapes totes gonna nick the stone tonight!

Ron Weasley: sweet! let's play under your dads sheet!

Harry Potter: you mean my invisibility cloak to sneak up on fluffy?

Ron Weasley: right....

Harry Potter: Hermione, play it a song on a flute

Hermione Granger: I don't have a flute to play

Harry Potter: oh I'll give you a flute to play ;)

Ron Weasley: we don't like girls yet

Harry Potter: still? fuck

Hermione Granger: how do we get the stone?

Ron Weasley: we got to play wizards chess

Harry Potter: what's wizards chess?

Ron Wessley: it's just like normal chess. it's more of a marketing thing

Harry Potter: done! I'm outta here!

Harry Potter: find the stone yet Quirell??

Prof. Quirell: not really

Harry Potter: look! nothing up my sleeve and BAM it's in my pocket!

Prof. Quirell: WTF!

Harry Potter: I'm famous biyatch!

Prof. Quirell: damn u Harry potter!

Harry Potter: btw what's behind that turban?

Prof. Quirell: idk some dudes face

Voldemort: I can't breathe I can't breath!

Prof. Quirell: whatever I'll just touch the boy

Harry Potter: bad touch?!

Prof. Quirell: I'm melting! wtf?!

Harry potter: cool! I can make people melt? what evs imma pass out now

Dumbledore: yo wake up

Harry Potter: what happened?

Dumbledore: your momma loves you

Harry Potter: don't all mums love their kids?

Dumbledore: you'd think so but a shit ton of people died

Harry Potter: so what really happened?

Dumbledore: long story short we destroyed the stone

Harry Potter: why the fuck didn't you do that in the first place?

Dumbledore: idk...

Harry Potter: new rule: you never leave Hogwarts, ever

Dumbledore: psshhh I do what I want!

Harry Potter: well at least ur old enough to like girls!

Dumbledore: right.... er girls....

Okay so that's it... I didn't make it up and sorry it's so random but I found it off the internet so yeah.... vote :) and read my other stories!