Hopeless Romantic -- Brallon

{2}

BBU

I walk through the school hallway with the flowers in my hand. Always blue, but not the same shade as his beautiful eyes. Nothing can top that hue.

People aren't even surprised, like usual. They just give me pitiful smiles as I stride to his locker. I give Dallon a bouquet of flowers every week, on Monday. He hates Mondays, so I always give him flowers to cheer him up. I'm not sure it works, though.

I'd like to think of myself as a thoughtful boyfriend, but we're far from that relationship. I don't think we're even friends anymore.

I get to Dallon's locker. He's facing away so I start to tap on his shoulder.

He sighs and doesn't even turn around. "Brendon, you can put them inside." His locker is open and he's talking to Ryan Seaman and Spencer Smith, two of his closest friends.

"Uh, okay." I carefully place the flowers inside Dallon's locker.

"There. I'll see your gorgeous face in math, right?" I inquire.

He turns around and smiles. Probably a forced smile, actually. "Yup, like always. Thank you, Brendon."

"You're welcome." I say. He's about to turn around but I stop him. "Wait, Dallon."

He smiles slightly and his eyes look tired, but beautiful as always. "Yes?"

"If you like it or not, I'll keep doing this. It doesn't matter to me if you don't love me back. I can still show my affection." I say with a smile and run away so I don't hear a response.

After a bit of running, I walk to my own locker, thinking about the flowers I just put in his. Dallon doesn't ever throw my gifts away. I know he doesn't like me, but he doesn't like to waste things. Spencer tells me the flowers are always in Dallon's house, on the counter. I know that's true, because I live across the street from him and I can see them in the kitchen sometimes. I've only been to his house once, when our families had dinner together. Our moms are friends. 

I recall what his room looked like the one time I was there. Dark blue walls with posters of his favorite artists like The Beatles, Elvis Costello, Miniature Tigers, etc... White carpet with a Dr. Pepper soda stain near his bed. A bookshelf neatly filled with comics and science books. I remember lying down on the floor with him, talking about songs we've written. 

We were just friends then, nothing more. That was before I told him how I felt. He was shocked, but we were still friends after that. Only for a few weekes. I spent a lot of time with him and talked to him often, but we drifted apart. After a little while, he rejected me. Dallon's been telling me he doesn't love me like I love him almost daily. I'm used to it. It doesn't bother me anymore. I still love him, I just don't know if that's going to change at all. He always says, "I don't love you like I didn't love you yesterday."

How could I be upset when he's gorgeous even when angry? Even when he's sad, upset, angry, tired, anything? Dallon still looks amazing. Maybe nobody else sees that except for me. His perfect teeth, fair skin, the way his eyes squint when he smiles genuinely. Oh, his eyes! They're one of my favorite things to look at. So grey-blue, reminds me of translucent water.

Suddenly, the bell rings. Apparently I spent my first period class thinking about Dallon. That's fine, I think we only read in class today. I walk out of the classroom and make my way to math. The hallway fills with chatter, as usual. I hear voices fill the halls as students make their way to their next class. I also hear an unexpected voice call out.

"Hey, faggot!" I know this person is talking to me. I'm the biggest "faggot" in this school. Everybody knows I love Dallon, it's not exactly a secret.

I ignore the bully calling and try to get to second period. Math is next. I get to see Dallon. Just keep walking, and the bully won't get you. Just keep walking. Just then, a hand grips my wrist and throws me onto the floor.

Guess that plan failed.

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Songs referenced:
If You Like It Or Not -The Brobecks
I Don't Love You -My Chemical Romance