(^^The fucking picture tho??? Also, there's going to be a good amount of author's notes in this chapter)
BBU
I run across the street to my own house, tears spilling all the way. I'm wailing as I race to my room. I slam the door shut and sob into my pillow. After a minute, my mom knocks on the door. "Brendon! What happened?"
I yell back. "Just go away!" I trail off near the end, almost to a whisper. "He wanted me to."
I sit up on my bed. I'm still crying and shaking. I look out my window to see Dallon, crying also. Why is he crying? I should be the only one crying right now.
He gives a miniscule wave and a pitiful smile, right before I close my curtains. He doesn't deserve to be sad. He shouldn't be sad. He's the one who told me to leave, and he's the one who pushed me off his lips. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss.
I curl up into a ball on my bed and cry more. Why am I so upset? This was all my fault, isn't it? I'm the one who kissed him. But wait.
I kissed Dallon.
I almost smile, but then I remember how he literally passed out from the shock. Is he really alright? I didn't even acknowledge Mrs. Weekes when I was running out! I'm such a horrible person, goddamnit.
I'm so glad mom hasn't bothered me. I just need to cry it out for the rest of the day, and then I'll be fine tomorrow. She knows how these things go for me. Cry/mope for a while, then bottle up the feelings. But then again, I have school tomorrow, with Dallon. I sigh.
"I-it's fine... I'll just a-apologize to Dallon and everything will be b-back to the way it was." I say to myself. Back to when he didn't acknowledge me and I was chasing after a dream that wouldn't come true. I guess I'm back to square one. (Notice how they both thought this about their own problems)
I look to the clock on my wall. It's already 9 (in the afternoon)? My hiccups dissolve into shaky breathes as I fall asleep. It'll be fine. Everything will be fine.
~(Little did Brendon know it would not be fine. Time skip, btw.)~
I wake up to a soft knock on my door. I'm still in a peaceful state from my dream, even though it ended so soon. Maybe that's a good thing; I didn't want it to end badly. Everything soon fades into reality as I awake. I start to panic (!) thinking of Dallon and how I'll have to deal with the whole situation today.
(^Hmu if you want a bonus chapter later about Brendon's dream. It's nothing sexual, obviously, but it's about Dallon and him together.)
"Brendon, sweetie, are you okay? I know you probably don't want to talk right now, but I still want you to go to school." Mom calls.
I begrudgingly get up and look at myself in the mirror on my wall. I look like a mess, with my hair askew and bags under my eyes. My eyes, shit. They're still a little puffy, but you can obviously see the tearstains on my cheeks.
Mom knocks again. "Brendon!! You need to get ready for school now!"
"Okay! Fine!" I reply.
I get ready and drive to school, surprisingly, not seeing Dallon yet. I usually see him walk out of his house by now. Maybe he left early to avoid me. I would, too.
~~~
The day wears on, and I still haven't seen Dallon yet. It's already lunch and I haven't seen him at all. Is he really not here today??
I sit down at my table with Ryan S. and Spencer ("Look, it's Spencer!" "I know!"). I give them a questioning look.
"Why is Dallon not here today?" I ask. They have worried faces.
Ryan S. sighs. "Uh... We don't know. I called him earlier but he didn't answer. He's never really absent unless something really bad has happened, so we're both pretty terrified."
I decide to not tell anybody about the kiss. If it never really "happened", we can forget about it, and Dallon can be happy. He can have his first kiss with someone that he has feelings for, and not me. I'll just stay a hopeless romantic...
"Brendon! Are you listening??" Spencer snaps in front of my face. "Ground control to major tom?"
"Yeah! Yeah... Um, I don't know why Dallon wouldn't be here today. Nothing's happened, right?" I state.
"We're still worried. We'll talk to him when he gets back to school. He's not sick, is he?" Spencer asks.
"I don't think so. Last time I saw him, he was completely fine. I guess we'll just see if he comes tomorrow." I say.
The three of us nod; continuing to eat our lunch. The chatter of the cafeteria drowns out the uncomfortable silence of our table.
Someone walks up to the table. Oh guess what. It's Ryan Ross. Just what I needed. This day is going swimmingly.
He seems skeptical. "Uh, have you guys seen Dallon today? Why is he absent?"
"We don't know. We're planning to talk to him after school. Maybe he's sick." I reply.
"Hey, weren't you at Dallon's house yesterday? How was he then?" Ryan asks. I immediately get worried.
"He was actually fine, I don't know why he wouldn't be here today. And how do you know that? Do you have nothing better to do than stalk him??" I say, in a rush.
Shit, that was the wrong thing to say.
Ryan looks offended. "Can you not fucking be like this right now? It doesn't matter if I 'stalk him', we're all worried. Grow up, Urie." Spencer and Ryan S. are exchanging worried glances with each other.
I scoff. "Aren't you trying to get over Dallon? Why are you still obsessed with him?" I stand up from the table. Why am I running my mouth just like I got him?
"I could ask the same thing! Why are you being so defensive all of a sudden? Did something happen with you two? Are you lying?" He exclaims.
I run out of the cafeteria, afraid to answer. Why did I do that? I'm such a fucking idiot. Ryan already knows something is up now.
I barge into the empty music room. I choke back tears and try to calm down.
I flinch when the doors suddenly open to reveal Ryan.
~
~
Songs referenced:
Mr. Brightside -The Killers
Space Oddity -David Bowie
Trouble -Never Shout Never
There's a Good Reason, you know the rest of the song title idgaf -Panic! At The Disco♡
Sorry for all the a/n's this chapter. I felt like adding my thoughts for a laugh.
Buuuuut tell me if you want me to start adding them or not. I don't want my insight on the scene(s) to distract from the story.
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Hopeless Romantic -- Brallon
FanfictionBrendon Urie. The school's "Hopeless Romantic" for none other than Dallon Weekes. Brendon believes love can always be a one-way street, but how long will he last with a crush on Dallon for years? Will Brendon cross a line? Find out in an actually de...