Alyssa's Second Chance [Completed]

34-What I've Always Wanted

I wake to darkness. Held firmly in strong arms while our legs are tangled together. I know it's early in the morning and I should snuggle into his chest and go back to sleep. I wish I could ignore the pounding of my heart or the fear that's leaving me nearly breathless. There is a gorgeous, sexy and very naked man in my bed and I can't seem to relax and let myself fall back to sleep in his arms. What is wrong with me?

I can feel my panic rising and I know that I should get up before I wake him. I very gently slip out of his arms and listen for any change in his breathing. When I am satisfied that he's still asleep, I slither out my bed, put on a robe and gently tiptoe toward my dresser.  

Finding my phone, I realize that it's just after five am. It's early, but not too early to be productive. I quietly pull a running outfit from my dresser and a pair of shoes from my closet. I'm feeling suffocated and I need time to think. I can't do that while I'm with Amir. I need fresh air.

I quietly get ready in the guest bathroom downstairs, expecting Amir to appear any moment. As I pull on my shoes, part of me is disappointed that he isn't waiting for me at the door. I push through that brief feeling and text Kristi. I can always count on her to be up before dawn and ready to run with me.

I  make my way out to my porch and start stretching when she responds to my text. She'll meet in front of her house in five minutes. Relief rushes through me. I need someone to talk with and Kristi is always happy to listen.

Making my way across the street, I can already see her standing in her driveway warming up. I run up to her and give her a hug.

"Thank you so much for meeting me. I know it's earlier than normal, but I couldn't sleep."

"You know that I love an early morning run. Are you o.k.?"

I give her a tentative smile and respond, "Let's start running. Then, I'll tell you all about it."

After ten minutes of running, I feel comfortable enough to tell Kristi everything that's happened over the last couple of days. Kristi mostly listens but throws in a key question every so often. Her quiet, thoughtful approach leads to me spilling all my deepest secrets related to Amir.

As dawn breaks, we rest at the top of a well-worn path overlooking the community. Kristi motions to a park bench sitting under a tree. "Let's sit and talk for a minute before we start heading back."

I nod and take a seat. Her seriousness scares me.

"I know Liz told you that you should give into your lust and have some fun, but I don't think that was good advice. I watched Amir's response to you yesterday. He has real feelings for you. It's written all over his face. You say that you are just attracted to him, but I don't think that's the case. Your feelings for Amir are deeper than you would like to admit."

I fidget in my seat and roll my eyes at Kristi. "Maybe, but it doesn't change anything about my life and why I'm not in a position to start a relationship with him."

"There are always obstacles to finding happiness. Instead of giving up and turning around, you need to get out there and explore the path. See where it takes you. If you are happy, you'll find a way around the obstacles. Life's too short to give up on love." Kristi picks up my hand and gives it a little squeeze of encouragement and continues, "Spend today with Amir exploring and see where it takes you. It's not a workday and your two favorite obstacles are in Nashville with Grandma. Promise me that you'll just enjoy a fun day together."

"I promise." I smile and lean over and give her a sweaty hug.

"O.K. Our break is over. We have three miles to run before we get home. I have a family to get ready for church and you need to crawl back into bed with that stud muffin. Let's get to it."

The rest of the run flies by. My heart feels lighter. By the time we reach my driveway, I'm excited to see Amir. I quickly say goodbye to Kristi and go inside.

I'm greeted by the delicious and unmistakable smell of waffles. I follow the sweet smell into my kitchen and find Amir pouring batter into my waffle iron. Wearing a pair of basketball shorts hung low on his hips, he looks more delicious than the plate of waffles sitting on the counter.

Amir looks up at me as I enter the kitchen and says, "I woke up and you were gone. I thought you ditched me again, but then I remembered that this is your house. You have to come home at some point. So, I started breakfast and hoped you would be back by the time it was ready."

I gaze at the counter and find warmed syrup, whipped crème and a big bowl of fresh fruit. I can see Amir is preparing waffles and scrambled eggs.  "It smells delicious. I didn't know that you could cook."

"I'm thirty-five and single. I'm not a chef, but I know how to feed myself. Do you want a shower before breakfast?"

I find myself shifting uncomfortably on my feet and I blurt out, "I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you woke up. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake you, so I went running with Kristi."

Walking forward he pulls me into a hug. "You should have woke me up. I'm always up for a morning run."

"Amir, don't hug me. I'm gross and sweaty from the run."

"I like you sweaty. It makes me think of other things that make you sweaty." Amir leans down and kisses my neck. "You taste salty. If you want a shower before breakfast, you better hurry. Breakfast is almost ready."

I think about Kristi's advice as I quickly shower and change. I need to put aside my concerns about work complications and the kids. Are Amir and I are compatible? Are we driven by attraction or is there something deeper?

I come downstairs to find a very domestic looking scene. The kitchen table set and a plate of waffles with melted butter are waiting for me. Amir is sitting at the kitchen table reading the Sunday paper. As He looks up at me as I walk over to my place at the table and he folds the paper and puts it aside.

"You look beautiful this morning." He picks up my hand and kisses it before placing it back on the table.

I take a bite of waffle and realize that I am famished. "The waffles are delicious." I can't remember the last time that I had waffles that I didn't have to make. I could get used to this. I can't help but smile.

Amir smiles back. "Thanks." For a moment, he seems lost in his thoughts. Then, he clears his throat and asks, "What's our plan for the day? I hear that the most beautiful and tour guide in Napa will be taking me for a personal tour of her favorite wineries."

"I don't know who this beautiful tour guide is, but I hope you're not disappointed that you're stuck with me for the day," I say with a laugh.

Amir looks into my eyes and replies, "I could never be disappointed. You're exactly what I've always wanted."