Tears Of An Angel

Chapter 23

Chapter 23: New heart with the same old feelings

I smiled as I saw him in the pages of the magazine. Vincent Anderson. One of the world's top 10 successful young businessmen. All the pain, tears, loneliness, and sleepless night. I could say it was all worth it. He had reached his dream. I felt so proud of him. I knew he'd be great someday and I was right. 

For 3 years, I had never really got over him. The pain of being apart from him was still with me. There were times when I was questioning my decision of letting him go. If I did the right thing. There were the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys'. 

Why did I ever let him go? Why didn't I stick around and see if it worked out? This magazine was the biggest proof that I did the right thing. It was also a reminder of my reasons. A smile appeared on my lips as a tear rolled down my cheek.

It was worth it. You've reached your dreams, Vince, and I couldn't be any happier. Masaya ako para sa'yo. Masaya ako kahit hindi kita kasama kasi alam ko na nakuha mo ang mga pangarap mo. 

"May bago ka na namang magazine," puna ni yaya Bebs. "Nandiyan na naman si Vincent ano?" Umupo siya sa tabi ko.

I wiped my tear and smiled. "Look, yaya Bebs. Sabi sa magazine nakakuha na naman siya ng recognition sa pagiging magaling niyang businessman. I am so proud of him."

Napa-buntong hininga siya at hinaplos ang buhok ko. "Bakit hindi ka magpakita sa kanya, anak? Naoperahan ka na rin naman."

I had a heart transplant 7 months ago. Sa tagal ng ginawa kong paghihintay ay nagbunga din siya. Hinawakan ko ang dibdib ko. After the operation, the first thing that I wanted to do was to see him again and ask for another chance. Pero paano?

"Yaya Bebs, it's been 4 years. Baka hindi na niya ako mahal."

Nasaktan ako sa aking sinabi. Ang totoo ay umaasa pa ako na may babalikan pa ako. Pero paano kung wala na? Apat na taon na ang lumipas. 

"Paano kung mahal ka pa?"

Hindi na lang ako kumibo. Basta ginupit ko na lang ang article tungkol sa kanya at inilagay sa scrapbook ko na puro kay Vincent ang nakalagay. Kahit naman naghiwalay kami ay hindi ako tumigil sa pagsubaybay sa kanya. 

I stood in front of the mirror half naked. The scar was no longer visible on my chest. I had it removed 6 months after my operation. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na sa tagal ng ginawa naming pag-hihintay ay may nakuha rin akong puso na nag-match sa akin. Pero under observation pa rin ako. Things could still go wrong. But my doctor was confident that everything would be fine. 

I had my operation in another country. Last month, we went back to the Philippines after staying abroad for 2 years. When we left Manila three years ago, we went to Cebu to stay there while waiting for a new heart. 

Hindi naging madali ang lahat para sa akin. I went through a lot just to survive. There were times when I wanted to give up because the pain was too much. But then I would think of Vince. Isa siya sa malaking rason kung bakit nakaya ko ang lahat. 

"Anak, are you sure of this?" Mama asked, quite worried. "The doctor said you should take it easy."

I smiled and hugged her. "Ma, I'll be fine. Sa Manila lang naman po ang punta ko. Hindi pwedeng wala ako sa engagement party ni Mikey. Mag-tatampo iyon sa akin."

"I'm just worried, anak."

"I know. But there's nothing to be worried about. I'll be fine. Saka kasama ko naman po si Yaya Bebs."