denial » pyrocynical

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a/n: ugh i'm breaking out so bad and i'm super tired but i decided to update because ily guys v much

I was researching stuff about the church of scientology, since i honestly find it extremely fascinating to read about. idk man it's pretty dark

but i logged on to wattpad and saw a ton of people had voted on this story !! thank you guys so much ahhh

we're 51 reads till we hit 200 and that's pretty sick !

so i hope you guys enjoy this chapter even though it's pretty short :^)

-mars

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My phone buzzed, indicating that I had a text from someone. I already knew what to expect, I assumed it was him. He's been texting me for days, but I refuse to respond and give him my attention. I was so done with him. I already slept with him on accident, isn't that good enough for him?

"Remy, please talk to me. It's been four days, you can't ignore me forever. I'm sorry about what happened but I take back absolutely nothing that I said. I haven't even known you for that long, but I know you well enough tell you that I love you. I don't really know what love is exactly, but if it's the feeling I get when I'm around you then god fucking damn it am I in love with you, Remy. You hate me, you will always hate me, but that feeling with never be mutual. Please, just give me a chance. I promise you I will be the best boyfriend I can be. I will never hurt you intentionally. This is your world Remy, I'm just living in it."

I chewed on my lip and realized, maybe I was starting to miss him but- Do I feel the same way?

I can't tell if I hate him, or if I just want to kiss his stupid fucking face. I hate feelings, god fucking damn it do I hate them.

After thinking it over, I finally decided to reply. I felt bad, I missed him, and I could tell he just needed to hear from me in some way.

"Niall, I'm sorry for storming out like that. I shouldn't have left and I should have talked it out with you. But that's not what happened. It's what should have happened, but it's not what did occur. I'm sorry, but I don't even know how to feel right now. I'm conflicted and I'm just so confused. Please don't be angry at me for that."

The typing bubbles immediately appeared, I tapped my nail on my screen and waited for his reply. He means well, which I appreciate.

"Oh my god you finally replied. But it's okay that you're confused, I just really wanted you to know how I felt. It's stupid and it's cheesy, but i've never felt this way about someone before. You're just different, Remy."

I continued to chew on my lip as I typed a reply. I think I'm beginning to fall into this trap that he's set.

"I can't decide if I love or hate you, I guess it's both. I hate you, and I love you all at once. But I just really fucking hate that I love you." (a/n: i lowkey love that song rip)

I pressed send. Maybe I do love him- I can't seem to deny it.

"Just please forgive me for what I've done wrong to you. We can start over."

Or maybe I can deny it?

"I'll think about it."