Our Chocolate Romance - Mello x Reader (Death Note Fanfiction)

Belief

~Lawliet's POV~

I looked out the tinted window of the car I was in. The sky seemed gloomy- or maybe that was me trying to comprehend my own feelings. Gevanni, who was seated beside me, shot me a concerned glance, which made me sigh. "I'm fine," I said.

"You're allowed to show emotion, y'know," He said, "I don't blame you."

"I know, but..." I began, "It's hard to feel anything right now, Gevanni."

What would it look like if the Wammy's Children saw their new leader emotionally unstable?

He didn't press me further, and I was glad for it. Despite the pep talks that Mom and Dad had given me, nothing could erase the current, absolutely horrid pain I was in. The matters of figuring my future out, dealing with the loss of Near, and considering the future of the entire orphanage- no, the entire world, were all just blurring any sense of logic or handle on emotions that I had.

So, my last thread of emotional and mental stability was what I was clinging onto as I looked down at the suit I was wearing. Dressed in all black and white, I was quite dressed up for the occasion. It was a suit that Near had picked out himself for my birthday, and if it weren't for that reason, I wouldn't have been wearing it then. I hated the thought of looking good at a funeral, as if you were celebrating the fact that a person had just died.

"I hate this," I said, mostly to myself, and Gevanni put his arm around me. rubbing my shoulder.

"I know, kiddo." He said. "I know."

~TIME SKIP~

"...and now, we call Lawliet Keehl to the stand to say a few words."

I looked up at Gevanni, my eyes heavy with both fatigue and the urge to cry. He stared back at me, his eyes glazed over in despair. It was hitting him as hard as it as hitting me, and I knew that he was trying his very best to mask it, for my sake.

Okay, Lawliet, you can do this.

"Hello, everyone," I began, standing at the podium. "Thank you all for being here today, I'm sure that Near would've been so happy to know that this many people cared enough about him to attend his funeral."

I looked into the rest of the crowd and saw mostly familiar faces. Some other Wammy's Kids, some Wammy's House staff, and then... some other people that I couldn't recognize. I didn't bother to pay attention to it at the time, but I soon learnt that two of those people were ex-SPK members, and their names were Rester and Halle. Both had been working alongside Near during the Kira case, and both had met my parents.

"Well, we all know that Near was a... peculiar person. He was good and kindhearted, but he certainly had very odd ways of showing it. And having basically been his adopted son, I always got to see the best of him, no matter what." I said, "And up until now, other than my biological father, Near was my hero."

A girl in the crowd from Wammy's House began sobbing loudly, and I felt a pang of annoyance hit me.

None of these people knew Near like I did. It's like they're acting for the sake of looking good. Stop crying, girl, you probably never even met Near. And even if you did, you never got to know him well enough to be sobbing at his funeral. You're crying because your stupid crawl to the top of the food chain at the orphanage was obliterated by me.

"Near was my father figure, and I'm very grateful to him for taking care of me for this long. He raised me to succeed him, and he did his job well. Near was... extraordinary in so many ways, and I know that none of you understand the relationship that we had, because none of you are me, but I can guarantee you all that it was closer than any of yours."

I'm starting to sound stupid, I thought to myself, but this has to be said.

"Being like a son to him, he knew what each and every one of the Wammy's kids has to face... work until you either succeed or overwork yourself to death."

Gevanni looked at me worriedly, and I knew that I shouldn't have continued on, but I also knew that I had to finish. For Near, for the kids, for myself.

"As your new L, I'm eliminating the successor program, " I announced, "You'll do normal schoolwork, live semi-normal lives, and then, and only then, will I be able to find someone truly worth the L code. We will all miss Near, but at least he marked the end of an era. And the beginning of a new one."

...I should've known better than to do something like that at Near's funeral, but the reception was amazing. The children, who all had tear-stained faces, looked up at me with gratitude. After all the bullshit the orphans at Wammy's House had to go through, at least it wasn't war between each other.

I walked down from the podium to my seat, where Gevanni sat in complete silence for the rest of the ceremony. I couldn't read him whatsoever, but I had a gut feeling that he'd be pissed. What was only a half hour seemed to drag on forever until I crept back into the car, drove with everyone to the cemetery.

The brown casket was lower into the ground and I stood above it, my tears dripping off my face and down into that black abyss. I wanted nothing more than the earth to swallow me up, too, but I did what I had to and I put on the show I needed to. I took a fistful of dirt and let it fall from my hand onto the casket below, wincing as if the action physically hurt to do. In that moment, I heard Near's voice ring through my ears.

"I'm proud of you."

As time passed, the burial ended and people began to leave. Eventually, it was just me and Gevanni standing there, alone. "I'm sorry," I managed, my voice hoarse from crying.

"For what?" He questioned, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"My speech," I explained, "I hadn't planned to do that, but when that girl started crying, I-"

"You snapped," Gevanni chuckled, "Yeah, it reminded me of your dad."

"Near's probably disappointed." I said, looking up at the sky, as if there was a chance that I'd be able to see him.

"Are you kidding?! You gave those kids something special. You gave them freedom."

"Freedom?!" I exclaimed, "Those kids are orphans, Gevanni. I'm an orphan. I just gave them one less thing to keep them from crying themselves to sleep every night."

"...Near isn't disappointed in you." He insisted, and I glared back at him.

"Just leave me alone."

The silence was awkward and tense, and I really didn't want Gevanni to leave. But he turned around and paced back to the car, getting in and leaving me alone. I stayed at Near's grave for a moment longer before walking across the cemetery. There was two other graves that I wanted to visit, anyways.

L's grave was a large monument, with nothing but the letter "L" on it, and some art at the bottom. I paid my respects before walking a little further away, to a grave that was a little more important to me.

The last time I saw Uncle Matt's grave, I'd brought gifts, but this time, I was empty-handed. I felt slightly bad until I saw a girl in the distance, standing in front of it. She had long, firey red hair, and this solemn look on her face. Her eyes were so open and inviting, like I'd known her all my life. "Um," I began, noticing she was in front of Matt's grave. "Did you know Uncle Matt?"

She turned to look at me with a questioning look in her eyes. "Uncle... Matt...?" she echoed before her eyes widened. "Wait... you... what's your name?"

"Lawliet Keehl, why?" I asked.

"So it is you!" she exclaimed, extending a hand towards me.

"Lawliet Keehl, my name is Myra Jeevas. I'm the daughter of Mina and Mail Jeevas. It's very nice to meet you."