November 18th, 2017
Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words to convince you that I love you.
Although this would be in a once in a lifetime chance to seize an opportunity like this, we also have to consider the variables.
He was drunk,
cold,
clueless,
and broken.
Although his lips were as sweet as sugar, his hands as soft and cold as snow, and as much I want him, the more that I lust after him, he seems to get farther away from my grasp.
"I'm sorry," He said, tears rimming around his beautiful dark hazel eyes.
Why was he sorry? In that moment, I wanted nothing more. The feeling of lust finally being reached and the buzz of success swelled inside of me, but I should've known better to think that I could possibly achieve this feeling of bliss forever. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others.
I want the friendship between us to be more than a name.
I love him.
I'm sitting here on this frozen bench where we kissed, my burning heart at the bottom of my feet. He had left in a flash, most likely regretting the actions he had made.
Even if he, confirmed, does not feel the same way, in short, I am disgusted with every thing in this world but him.
I can stay here outside the loud buzzing party heard from three stories above me, or I could go inside and pretend that nothing had ever happened outside, or I can go home immediately and face John.
I'll commit what I do second best, and rather without words, I'll fake my way out. Paint on a grimace until the party is over and everyone is too intoxicated to care.
And then I'll see John.
Adieu.
A. Ham
this makes me really sad but i hope you can see the little references i put in this journal entry! not just the start from the iconic letter™ but there are also other parts from other letters sent from the actual alexander hamilton to john laurens while he was away in south carolina, just before alexander married eliza. so that's p sick
cya cunts <3333
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FanfictionJohn Laurens wish he could say that he loved Peggy. After all, they have been a pair since high school. Although he couldn't deny that he cared for the Schuyler sister, in his third year of college, a new potential number jumps into the equation, le...
