⚜️journal entry #198 ~ chapter 16⚜️

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November 19th, 2017

I first described his thin smooth lips as sugar, but I now can specify that he tastes like pure honey.

He is the honeysuckles I would find on the island as a child. My older brother and I would roam the colossal meadow of towering trees, searching for these sacred honeysuckle bushes that we cherished like it was treasure.

John is the closest thing to home I have.

His ebony hazel eyes remind me of the dimmed sky a few moments before sundown. He's my mother holding me on the patio of our house, that was once intact, humming old lullabies and tunes that she swore she would teach my the words to when I'm older so I can pass them down to my family.

I never got to learn the words, so I made my own up.

John, the stitches to my wounds that bleed;
The thread that will wind me back together.
Your blissful snoring I hear before I drift into sleep,
through the walls that keep out the raging thunder and weather.
Even without your arms around me,
My dearest Laurens,
there is no stopping the yearning
as you stop the oncoming storm that is me from pouring.

He makes my heart flutter. He has a certain magic to him that keeps me wanting more of him, his mind and body.

I'm in love with John Laurens.

A. Ham

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