Bungou Stray Dogs x Reader One Shots

Dazai x Reader | Amour Sans Fin

It was already quite late at night, probably past midnight. He didn't know exactly what time it was because it was too dark to see the clock on the wall and he didn't want to move to get his phone because in this case, he could waken the young woman, peacefully sleeping next to him.

He was lying on one side, leaning his head on his arm and just admiring her in her sleep. A soft smile was on his lips as his hand gently brushed the strands of her soft (h/c) hair.

He felt so incredibly happy in that moment. It was quite a strange feeling for him though, but he definitely liked it. If he could compare it to anything, he'd say, that happiness for him is like honey. A very very sweet and tasty honey. How's that possible, that a human can feel this good just because of another person lying next to them? Just one average woman, who wasn't perfect and who wasn't called "a model" by others made him feel all emotions, he always thought, he would never get to feel.

It was a miracle, that such a person walked into his life and, the most important, stayed with him. When he first noticed, that she wasn't intending to leave his life that fast, he tried to warn her, that it's better to go. He didn't want her to spend her lifetime on someone like him.

"There are so many men, who are better than me. Why do you want to stay with me so badly?" He once asked her "I feel bad for wasting your time...You could be dating someone else already, not having this talk with me."

"Dazai." She started strictly "I don't want a better man. I want to have a real and loving person in my life, who'll know the value of these feelings. Others are not like this."

His smile grew wider at the memory of that night.

She was definitely special. He knew that for sure. He has been with a lot of women before. The longest time, when a woman stayed in his life before was a week. But now...it's already been a year since (Y/N) walked into his life and his heart still flattered each time, their lips collided.

He was looking closely at every little feature of her face. He knew all of them, yet he was never tired of looking at her. He still couldn't believe, that he was the first person, she ever kissed. Not that he minded, but he had no idea, how come is that no one else before him, noticed her unbelievable beauty. He thought, that she was truly an angel with such looks. Besides, she was his blessing. She brought so many wonderful things in his life, but the most important one was a will to live.

Right now, as he was starring at her, he knew, that all those years of pain, depression, fear of never being loved, anxiety and a lot more was worth it since he met her. If this was a price of her love, then he would agree to live this all again and again without even hesitating if only, he could hold her hand. This is how much he loved her.

Never has has he thought, that he would ever be so deeply in love. In the past, he thought about love as something...unrealistic. Love was like a childish dream to him. Like kids dream about becoming an astronaut or being saved by a prince on a white horse, Dazai used to dream about being loved. Yet...here he was now

There was only one thing, that he regretted. He wished, that he stayed innocent until he met her. He wished, he could share, that magical and intimate moment with her for the first time. He wish, she was his "first" and only like he was to her. Nevertheless, what was done is done. He knew, that it was silly to keep thinking about it, but...he couldn't help it. He just wished, he could meet her earlier.

He leaned closer to her face and pressed his lips to her forehead as gently as he could before finally lying on his pillow and closing his eyes.

Amour sans fin*...is that how they call it?

~~~

Amour sans fin (french) - endless love.