Bungou Stray Dogs x Reader One Shots

Dazai x Reader | Father

WARNING!!!

if you are a religious person, I DO NOT recommend you read it. This one shot shows how human's mind often works, when there's no one to blame, but it involves talks about religion.

Also, I remind you all, that my one shots are shouldn't make you think, that I hate smth. It's a) totally my opinion and b) I will never get angry at you if you like smth, that I don't. Like whatever you want, I'm TOTALLY fine with it, ok? Don't think of me as Volandemort.

~~~

Father, father...answer me, I beg you. Please, answer me or leave me alone. The last option would be better. Please, father, let me rest in piece. Don't scold me and don't torture me, I swear, I am just tired and need rest.

So why don't you give it to me, father?

I know, that I am not a good person. In fact, I'm far from that. At least, I know, that you don't see me as a nice person. But I'm still breathing, father. I may not be good, but I am alive. Moreover, I have always wanted to please you, but you know yourself, that I didn't get the chance to become a good person. You didn't give me a chance, father, if what the prayer has told me is true.

The prayer, I once met, has told me, that all the people in the world are your children, father, and you have a power over our fates. He was a good man and that was why I left him alive that day, although, my order was to not live anyone alive. That prayer also told me, that you love all your children no matter what and you can let us have another chance? So why, father? Why did you do that?

Why did you let the Mafia kill my parents? Why did you let my blood be spoiled because of all the sins, that I was forced to make? Why did you make me kill those innocent people? Yeah, it was you. It was you all the time. If what I know is right, you have always had the control over my life. You had a choice to help me get out of that cruel place and save my innocence. Yet you didn't. You let me kill them all. You let me suffer and drown myself in remorse and tears. Why, father? Why?

Aren't you a good man? Aren't you our savior, who can help us be happy? Aren't you the one, who will always accept us, your children? Aren't you the one, who will give us a second chance?

Why do people lie so much, father? Answer me, why are they doing it? Why keep lying to themselves and others, that you are there for us, always kind and forgiving, when you're none of that?

You're cruel, father.

You let so many of us suffer. You let children, die of hunger and poverty, you let men and women leave their bodies in war, you let hundreds of people die because of terrorism. The last one confuses me a lot. Father, you're so powerful! Why don't you stop it all then? Why do you let people die because of you?

It's just so wrong, father.

I was always silent about all of this, father, and you know it. I was silent because I never had a reason to speak. My loved one, my soulmate, my dear Dazai was always by my side, loving me and worshipping me every single day and this was all that ever mattered to me.

So why did you let him die, father? It was the only thing I've ever asked you for: to keep him alive. So why did you let him die on that mission? I was praying for his safety every single day. I was begging you for his safety. I was begging for your mercy wholeheartedly and was ready to give everything I ever had away if only it would mean, that my beloved husband will stay alive?

So why, father?

Is that because I am a sinner? But if it was my destiny, then it's not my fault. I have never chosen this life, father. I swear, I would never choose to live like this if I had the choice. Do you believe me, father?

Father, father, you betrayed me. You betrayed my trust. You were never there for me. You were never there for anyone of us. And you know what, father?

You're a liar.

~~~

Let me explain: if you have noticed, people often blame god for their problems, when there's no one to blame. I just pictured it in this one shot. I don't hate religion (although, I am not....into it) and it's alright to like it.

Also, too many things has happened recently and if someone calls me a sinner, just know that Idgaf anymore