Free: A Jc Caylen Sequel

Chapter Four

"I can't believe it took four hours to clean all that shit up!" Jc whined before throwing himself on the bed. I had to admit I couldn't believe it took so long either, I honestly didn't think us girls did that much damage.

"But you have to admit it was pretty funny!" I said laughing as I laid beside him.

"Yeah true!" he laughed, sitting up and staring at me, smiling. "Well I'm glad you got a chance to bond with the ladies! Everyone loves you, I think you're really fitting in around here."

"Are you sure about that?" I mumbled, confused. Granted the little prank had made me slightly more comfortable around the gang, but I still felt like I was walking on egg shells in my own body. I wasn't sure how to act, what to say, how much to tell, etc. It was as if I was learning to be myself all over again.

"What? You don't think you are?" he said dropping the smile and grabbing my hand as if to comfort me.

"No, yes, well I don't know." I said sitting up and scooting a bit away from him. "Jc, you have to understand that this adjustment is going to take me a minute. I went from always being told how to act, what to say, and whatever, to having to be myself. I haven't been myself in so long that I almost forget how to be me. That probably doesn't make any sense. But I really am trying, I swear!"

"Yeah I could see that," he let go of my hand, standing. "I'm gonna go to the gym, I'll be back soon." With that I was left alone with my thoughts, which was something I had grown accustom to over the years. I laid back in the bed, wrapping myself in Jc's comforter, breathing in deeply, taking in his scent. I closed my eyes for a moment before realizing that I wasn't in the slightest bit tired. I laid staring out the window for a moment before jumping up throwing on my sneakers and beanie, running toward the door, only stopping to grab my Penny board out of the hall closet. With that I was off.

The LA air wrapped itself around me, somewhat suffocating me with smog, yet liberating. The wind blowing through my loose hair, almost felt as if I was going to float away. I stopped in front of the house that had once been mine, since I had left a family had moved in, though in the late night the house looked almost lifeless, empty. I sat on the curb for a moment, thinking back to the day I had first saw Jc, skating down the street, almost getting run over by a car. I laughed to myself before standing up and skating off to a place I had only been once.

Everything pre-trial felt like a dream, like some crazy day dream, Then there was the trial, a nightmare. There was post-trial, the first couple weeks I was in LA, where everything was new and exciting, as if I was newly awakened. And then there is now, where I can fully conscious, yet more confused than I have ever been. So I skated toward the top of the city, trying to get high enough to escape my thoughts, literally.

I stopped at the exact spot I had sat with Jc, the first time he had brought me here to examine the night sky and city. I sat down and closed my eyes for a moment, taking in the quiet, peeling my eyes open slowly, taking in the city lights bit by bit. Before I knew it, tears flooded my eyes, as if I had no control over them. I laid back, looking up to the sky, my mind wondered to the first time I had been to my WPP assigned therapist appointment. The first and last time I cried in a session, it was then she told me that everyone needed a good cry, it was cleansing. She had told talking to them would help, I tried it once but felt silly. Yet that night, as I looked up at the sky, I felt as if eyes were staring back at me through the stars.

"Mom," I said out loud softly, tears still streaming. "I just don't know. I thought that coming to LA, the only place I had been happy in the WPP, would give me happiness. Yet, I feel out of place. Perhaps I jumped into it too soon? Maybe I wasn't happy here, maybe Olivia was happy here. I feel like an idiot. I just wish you were here to tell me what to do. I wish you were here to approve of Jc. Though this place confuses me, and at times I may feel overwhelmed, he is the one person I know is for me. Mom, I wish you could meet him, I have this funny picture in my mind of him meeting you for the first time. He would probably bring you flowers and try to be a total gentlemen, but he'd crack a joke and blow the whole thing." I laughed, wiping away the tears in my eyes. "Noah, you'd probably love him. He'd let you ride his board, something I never did. He'd play hours of Mario Kart with you, I assume he'd let you win." I stared up at a passing airplane, rubbing my eyes gently. "Dad, you'd be the one that would give him a hard time, but only because you'd be the one to see how much he really cares about me. I hope anyways, that you guys would like him. All my years in the program, all I wanted to was to be free, to live how I wanted to, and be myself. Funny how now that's exactly what I am doing, and I miss the structure." I laughed to myself, as the tears slowed. "Maybe I am truly over thinking it. But then again I haven't been myself since in so long that I don't think it's possible to pick up where I left off. I don't think it's that simple." I sat up, at that moment I realized what I was doing wrong. "Guys, I'm not supposed to be the same me I was, I am supposed to be the me I am now. I really can't pick up where I left off, I'm older and wiser. I have evolved as a me! I am Skylar Grace Carson 2.0!" I stood up, wiping my wet face, though my eyes were dry. "I love you all, I won't let you down."