.Mate Problems.

-11-

Ash's pov:

I quietly walk in the kitchen, even my steps are soundless, mostly staring at the ground as absentmindedly pull on the elastic band around my wrist but don't let go.

I release it and I sigh at the stinging feeling, Anna is right I guess.... I don't need to worry about hiding the blood and all that stuff.

I took out a bottle of apple juice from the fridge when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I jump a meter away in fright and throw the bottle at whoever touched me.

"owww" I stared at mom who was sitting on the floor rubbing her head.

I feel bad for hurting her, she's my mother after all.

"here" I whisper and offer her my hand to take.

she grabs it and I help her up before loosely hugging her, she hugs me too for a while before letting me go.

"good to hear you talking a little again sweetie even if it's only whispers and mutters" she says and I shrug, Anna seam to help with that.... that woman is so damn positive and hot......... I didn't just think that did I? fuck....

I picked the juice bottle up and walked away with small wave behind me, walking out to the cemetery.

this time I picked up two yellow flower for each grave.

I sit there in front of the two graves and hugging my knees to my chest with my eyes closed, normally I would be talking to grammy and dad but that was before that happened with that man.

it was silent, even quieter then the forest could possibly be so I knew who it was who hugged me from behind.

"if only I could see your family's future, I could have warned you" said moon, saying moon goddess is way to long for my fucked up state.

"I'm sorry, I really am, I wish there was a way I could have helped.... I know I'm not supposed to get attached to any mortal but you are worth my time and protection and yet I can only give you my time and no protection" she rambled on, now standing between the graves and lightly laying a hand on the top of them and I simply stare at her.

I feel bad for making her guilty but both of us knew I blamed her deep down even if she couldn't have helped.

"is Dan back?" she asked, kneeling in front of me, I shook my head.

Dan had closed himself of from me, I could still shift and yet I wish I loosed the ability to if it meant Dan was still here, my best friend, the other part of my soul, left me alone to suffer on my own with these memories and nightmares.

"stay strong Ash even if I can't do anything to help you, you need to stay strong.... you do have a lot of people there for you and a goddess herself alright? you are a strong wolf, don't let him hold you back"

I stared at nothing as wind blow my hair in my face, I brushed it out of my face and looked up at the sky, mostly at the moon, visible because of the lack of clouds at the moment.

the leafs rustled, birds chirped and wind blew, it was calming, I sighed and closed my eyes again.

"come on.... try to call for help" he laughed sickly as I tried screaming out in pain as he just made a long gasp in my arm with his knife, he had heated the knife up so it also burned me.... he didn't want my death but to keep my suffering the longest possible.

"come on.... simply ask me too.... let. you. go~" I tried screaming through the gag as hot tears pooled from my eyes mixing with the blood on my face.... my blood.

"I can't hear.... you" I still tried even if it was futile, please someone! help! I'm scared! it hurts! please!

"yo.... are you listening?" my head snapped to the right as a frying pan hit my head.

I saw blurry and let my head hang, hoping he would leave me but another one of my screams was muffled by the tape gag as he made me look up by pulling on my head before hitting me square in the face.

"I'm not.... finished yet" he said as I saw a nail in his hand, not the small ones.

my eyes were wide as I pulled on my restraints, not liking the look of it, screaming quietly and shaking like a leaf, hurting my wrists each time I tried to free myself from the tight shackles and only ending up by cutting in my wrist because of the strength I used.

"there is no.... way to run~" he sang and picked up a hammer from the pill of things he used to hurt me.

I was dying of horror on the inside as he knocked the chair I was attached to and stepped on my torso, holding me in place and cutting my air supply at the same time.

he put the nail against my shoulder and raised the hammer, I screamed in the gag until my 'voice' broke with the most pleading and scared look I ever had seen on anyone.

he looked at me before smiling sickly and bringing the hammer down.

I screamed, my eyes snapping open as I held my shoulder.

I frantically searched for any wounds as I grip my shoulder, I tried to keep my breathing under control but it wasn't working, I was panicking for a good five minutes before I heard someone but didn't care.

I get hugged and don't push the person away as the scent of roses hits me, I knew who it was the second and bury my face in the side of her neck.

"shh shh, calm down love, I'm here, nothing is going to hurt you, I'm here" slowly my breathing starts calming down but I'm still shaking.

"everything is alright love" Anna said, pushing me away enough to kiss my forehead, I inhale and exhale loudly, closing my eyes, holding in tears.... I'm such a cry baby....

"no you aren't you have the right to feel this way after what happened to you....... yes, you whispered that out loud" she said.

"Ash what's wrong?" she said gently.

I shook my head with tears building up in my eyes as I grit my teeth, they fall over and down my face.

"a memory?" I asks, a little sob leaves my mouth as I nod, facing at the ground with my fists tightly closed.

she pulled my hand away from my shoulder and laid her own there and hugged me yet again.

"it's okay, you are healed, you are not hurt anymore, he can't hurt you anymore" she said gently rubbing my shoulder, I nod, trying to calm down.

"I was about to take J out to the park so he could place with other children, would you like to come with me?" she asks.

I literally can't resist that kids 'charm'.... must have got it from his mother...... he has nothing to do with J, nothing okay? Ash calm....

I nod and sigh quietly as she helps me stand up and leading me back home, not letting go of my hand.

I stare at our interlocked hands as we silently walk.

how can she be so understanding? how?

I look up at the back of her head.

I'm younger and yet she only treats me with respect and love while I keep refusing to let the mate bond pull me close to her and yet she never does anything to overstep the condition I gave her oh so long ago....

I only slightly quicken my pace, enough to walk next and not being pulled after her and kind of forcefully yank her arm to me and hug it....

"interesting display but you don't need to almost yank my arm out next time" she chuckles while I hide my face in her arm, I had no other idea show to do this and not smooth at all.

Jake was already waiting for us.... well more like waiting for his mother but he was more than overjoyed when I nodded when he asked if I was tagging alone.

I sighed quietly, this day started and it's already down in the dumps.