.Mate Problems.

-13-

Ash's pov:

I was staring out the window before closing my eyes as memories flowed back.

"please let me g-!" he frowned and re-secured the tape around my mouth, I almost said it, I was almost free.

"good job you almost did it...... but you didn't" he laughed as he was sipping his drink from a cup and throwing darts at me, two were in me and the rest didn't stick, one hit my leg and the other between two of my ribs.

I was shaking and crying in pain, unable to get a sound out from my gagged mouth.

he finished his drink and threw the last dart and it hit my neck, I started freaking out, no no no no please no I don't want to die!!!!

he grabbed my head roughly and turned it to the side.

"it hit nothing vital.... perfect" I was relieved and horrified at the same time because it meant more torture, I wasn't feed so I couldn't heal like normally but he had the humanity left to not make me do my business on myself but I could only go once a day in a freaking bottle and if I needed more than.... well you can guess.

"let's try.... this» he said and picked up pliers from the ground and a knife.

I shook and yanked my never loosening their hold on me before he hit me a few times stopping me from moving before screaming in the gag as I felt the pliers pinch my skin so hard I think he tore it.

"does it hurt?" I nodded really fast with tears and strangled sobs leaving me.

"good" he said as he pulled making the pain become worst before I felt the blade slowly cut in my skin.

I shakily exhaled and pulled up my hoodie's sleeve, tracing my fingers over the long, almost rectangular, scar left after the skin was removed.

I sighed and pulled down my sleeve before leaving my room and heading down stairs, playing with the elastic band and letting it snap, it wasn't enough, it started to feel less and less effective.... I need to.... no.... I promised.... did I really? no again........

I walked in the kitchen to see my mom making breakfast, I frowned, I felt guilty for the pain she was in while I was gone.... and the fact that she started drinking, it doesn't help to know I was the reason why.

"Ash sweetie? I've been calling you for the past three minutes" I shook my head before looking up.

"sorry" I muttered, I may not speak full volume like I used to nor said long sentences but I'm not that silent either, mom has the hope that I'm getting better but I don't feel it, I don't feel like anything is getting better, I'm still in this dark hole and there is no way out............... well that's laying.

I had an almost invisible smile on my face, I can get out of that hole as long as she's here to help me out.

"hello Ash" I looked at Anna walking down stairs with Jake.

"hello" I said, she just somehow always brings some of the old me back for a little while.

"as today is the first day of holidays could I have ice cream for breakfast" Jake asked me.

"sorry bud, no" I muttered and he putted.

I saw granny walk passed us, her blue hair was unmissable...... I had hated her but to be honest....... she was one of the only two that got what I felt, she and her twin, great aunty, were known to have dealt with stuff, not the same but still, great aunty had tried commit suicide when younger by cutting her wrists like I currently do.... did, Anna found a way to stop me but I feel it won't last, and granny got forced to bear responsibilities she wasn't ready for a grow up fast....... she avoided to talk to me and trying to help me because I asked her to do so and I'm grateful she respects that....... plus, two good grandma points for your granny.