Get It Straight, Or Say Good Night

Balled and Fisted

Louise spun around from watching the rain race in rivulets down the side window and looked at George. Something was wrong, something was very off and Lou recalled his face in the window above the door. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Evie"

One word, a thousand directions Louise mind raced in.

Did George just mean something about the operation, had Da said Evie was ill coming out of theatre from the anaesthetic to George? Lou and John hadn't mentioned it because of all the flack and carry on over the surgery, feeling it had been hard enough for the two of them to digest at the time. The few hours Evie was ill Lou had cried while John paced the ward. She was alright in the end and they thought best not to worry everyone with the sidenote to the successful surgery.

"What about Evie? Do you think I'm ignoring her or John is not being a dad proper when he wanders in at all hours? Because he has been very good he loves his litt-" The car skid on the bitumen and Lou clutched the arm rest of the door, George then skilfully landed the car in a pull off area by a field of grazing cattle.

Pulling papers from his shirt pocket George dropped one in Louise's lap making her jump. The skid was premeditated and George knew what he was doing when he pulled hurriedly to a stop in the deserted waylay on the country road. He wanted Lou alone, he wasn't doing this in front of Ma and Da.

Lou was about to give George an earful, he could have killed them all but the item in her lap had landed face up and Louise fumbled to pick it up.

Louise is shaking like a leaf, George realised quickly as he watched his older sister's reaction and rubbed his forehead.

Louise, his only sister, paled to beyond white, her pallor giving up her trepidation and fear of the man in the photograph he had tossed at her. George knew for sure now..... He knew the letter was indeed true.

Gathering the mail this morning while Ma and Lou attended church, George had greeted the few fans at the gate with fanged grin and happiness.

In London it was bloody bedlam but the ten or so stood here were safe, a few he knew from school or the bus, one from the café in Allerton. George signed the girl's books and pictures, chatted about the next visit back to the 'pool and wandered back to sit on the wood pile round in the rear garden to read the letter.

George thought the letter was just another piece of fan mail.

"Where ..... Where did you get this George?" Louise fingers grasped the photo tightly, the edges were scrunched. Her hands clenched as did her insides. George looked over into the rear seat at Evie, his niece, the precious angel he loved with all his heart "George! Where. Did. You. Get this? What's going on, you're scaring me"

Louise looked back down at the grainy black and white passport photo in her hand and felt like vomiting, she rushed the door and went by the oak tree about ten feet away to lose her breakfast and dry heave as the spasms in her gut kept rolling dread all over her. A rush of panic swept her body, taking over, fighting with her normally calm rationale.

George knew!

Who else?

Did father know?

Ma certainly didn't she was cool as a cucumber this morning.

What about the other two clods Harry and Peter, no they would have been there gazing upon her in disgust.

George gently pulled Lou round and hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head as she clung to him in desperate hope that this was just a nightmare and she would wake and be home safe and sound with John quietly snoring as he hugged the pillow beside her.

Two hands balled and fisted in Georges fancy new shirt, Lou clung to him not daring to look up and see the scorn and repulsion in his eyes.

Lou decided to continue on with the caper of feigning illness hoping and praying George believed her ill. Believed her acting.

Yes ... that's it. She had a little travel sickness that was all. After all, Ma had feed them overly well before the trip. Bacon, fried bread, eggs and tomatoes, baked beans. Lou tried to break away and ended up with George patting her back as she heaved more of the breakfast up to fertilise the base of the tree.

George led Lou back to sit in the car. Thank goodness Evie was still slumbering and she didn't have to see the mess that was her mother. On his haunches, George made Lou look at him for inspection.

Nodding, knowing Louise wasn't dying of some terrible gut track disease George rounded the car and settled himself again, clutching the leather steering wheel tightly.

"I know we aren't the best brother sister act on the planet Louise but fucking ..." George thumped the front window "..... fucking hell Louie you were raped. Why did you not tell me, I would have helped you" George banged the steering wheel over and over, his sister had been raped and he had been led by the nose and fed some bullshit by those other two morons.

He remembered now, the way Louise fell apart, the night she froze on the hill. John becoming some sort of saint between that Monday evening and the following Sunday. Everything falling, like jigsaw puzzle pieces, into place.

If Louise had thought he didn't know before..... right now confirmed the worst.

George knew everything was a lie, all her secrets, all Johns deceptions for Lou, all their coverups and fights, the arranged marriage and the mock love they paraded about and why Louise--

"That's why you let John fuck about on you, in the beginning, isn't it. You just let him fuck the entire fucking audience because you had no hold on him and he knew it. Geez that fucking sod I'll punch him in the fucking nose for being a liar to me" George grabbed fistfuls of his own hair clutching tightly at the scalp dragging on it, he didn't think he had this much emotion bottled inside himself.

Always the watching one, the one to let every domino be placed before being logical and calm to fix the game. "Why Louise. Why not tell me. I'm your fucking brother not Paul and certainly not John Lennon" George spat whilst looking at her angrily " ..... Does...does Richy know?"

Louise baulked and George fisted his hair yet again, what a fucking idiot, fed shit like a bloomin' mushroom.

In the dark once again.