Get It Straight, Or Say Good Night

Spill The Beans

The weekend came and went, spots at a couple of small dancehalls gave the bandmates some dosh which usually lasted til the next night if they were lucky. Plentiful drinking, at the 'Grapes,' or the 'White Star' pub up the street, usually took most of kitty and none was ever saved.

Monday morning arrived and John turned up extra early on the Harrison's doorstep, Mrs H letting John in with a motherly hug and an offering of egg and beans for breakfast, he never turned a free meal down.

"So, Louise back this morn Mrs H, shall I fetch her from the station for you?" John offered gentleman like, Mrs H raised an eyebrow as John scoffed the beans down and wondered what in the world had come over the Lennon boy, him and Louie were more than likely to be in a fight than offering to fetch the other from public transport.

The front door opened and slammed shut rattling the decorative plates that adorned her mothers kitchen sideboard.

"No need, princess pleasant is home already" Missus Harrison rolled her eyes, ever since she had called up Manchester and spoke to Louise she'd had a nasty feeling in her gut, the girl was positively caustic and withdrawn, not at all like her daughter's usual disposition.

John finished in seconds. Draining the tea in big gulps, kissing Mrs H's cheek and depositing the dirty crockery in the dishwater. He headed for the stairs.

"John Lennon, where on earth do you think you're going" Mrs H was eyeing him up and down as he stood shifting foot to foot at the bottom of the stairs. He hadn't meant to rile her up but he was in a hurry to sort out Louie. He turned and smiled, a wide sugary sweet smile as he returned to the kitchen doorway, leaning a hand on the sideboard with not a care in the world.

"Arrr you see Louie promised to show me her poetry... I offered to try and put it to some music for a lark"

"Oh, alright. I didn't know she had started writing again. Off you go then. Try and not wake Harry, he was on night shift last night"

"Of course, quiet as a church mouse, Mrs H" John stuck a finger to his lips smiling, then wandered back to the bottom of the stairs, pausing to collect his bravado to face Lou.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"You're not sniffing round Lou again are you John?" George felt sick as he looked at John hurriedly trying to pass him on the staircase.

"God you're an idiot George, a flaming dumb idiot, go to you mummy and ask her 'bout the birds and bees son" John boxed George one to the back of the head and sent him packing down the stairs.

He knocked but didn't bother waiting, just marched in like he owned the joint.

"Winnie"

"Mabel"

"Ok sorry.... hello John, better?"

"Much thank-you, Louise"

"Lou or Louie to you, that's what's it's been for a while now, don't go dressing it up saying my proper name it won't get you any favour" Louie sat on the edge of the bed playing with her pea-coat hem, the purple suited her complexion and he again wandered round touching stuff of her's ...  the diary sat atop her suitcase and a pen had fallen to the floor, he picked it up and tossed it high twice. "Sit down" she commanded.

John looked about and decided the bed was the best and most comfortable place to sit, she frowned when he tucked her pillow under his chin. He ran an eye over her, checking her out almost, almost.... it was more a doctor's report. No, he couldn't see 'anything.' She looked better, not in so much pain that he could see, her eyes weren't so...  tormented, yeah tormented.

"Come on spill it Louie" John asked gently, well as gently as John Lennon could. He waited for her to speak, she looked over at him briefly then her eyes slid to the floor. She was never scared, and now .. now she couldn't even look his way. "Walk?"

"Hmmm"

They walked a few miles to Strawberry fields and sat on the stone wall overlooking the city, it was the most beautiful place when the day was right and today was heavenly, a smattering of clouds and the bluest of blue sky, the sun shining down wasn't overly hot being autumn; All in all it was balmy, nice, pleasant.

"You're not going to say, are you?" John had watched her for an age, from the corner of his eye the entire amble he kept check on her. The long sleeves on a warmish day, the grimace as she climbed up onto the wall, the way she pushed her bra about off the sores beneath.

She knew he was looking but ignored his view of her. She had to, he didn't need this, he had his own monsters to deal with.. his mother's recent passing, Stuart.... his father's desertion, Mini's soldier like ruling rough-shot over him. No, he didn't need her pain to go along with it.

She shook her head 'no.'

He jumped down, he wasn't going to push, he knew she would only clam up more. He walked about for a bit, finishing his smoke then came to stand in front of her, leaning his arms on the wall either side of her legs, he stood eye level with her belly the pea-coat riding up, scrunched and showing her black capri pants, her legs hanging limply down off the wall.

"Tell me you at least went to the doc's" He struggled to hold his anger in, it had eaten him the whole weekend. Whoever hurt her, needed to be hurt worse. Lou looked about, a starling landed on the wall and she watched it clean its wings "Louie? come on..."

"Yes I went to the hospital; the doctor would have told them"

"Ya mum?"

She nodded and tried cleaning her nails with the single long finger nail on her right hand. He grabbed her hand, holding it still, she looked at him and puzzled to his even bothering to waste his time on her.

"I'm not going to push you but when you're ready I'm here, just say the word and I'll get the bastard" John promised revenge.

The shudder ran through them both, down through her whole body, coursing through her fingertips into his, telling him more than she was willing to say, telling him she was terrified. "No, you can't" she blurted quickly.

"Why? I'll get Paul and Ivan, we'll get the prick"

"You just can't John" her inner struggle was mighty, she allowed her eyes to follow his fingers as they traced along her knuckles gently.

If she told.... if she spoke, if she verbalised... it became real.....All. Too. Real "Help me down please"

Carefully taking her waist, he lifted her down and she kissed his cheek, John tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, their first ever contact like this. Intimate even, she would recall it as later.

Without a word she turned away and walked, her head ducked and low, her shoulders hunched over. He watched her, the sadness radiating, it seemed, from every pore, and made himself let her step further from him... That was, until she got to the corner of the street, where the oak tree stood.

He just couldn't do it... couldn't let her be alone, he walked double quick time to catch her up, to not let her out of sight.