Step Into the Sun

5

It took a moment, but the door soon opened to reveal Connor, looking somehow more stunning than Evan had remembered. He shoved that thought off of a cliff in his mind and showed Connor a small smile.

"He didn't even walk you up? Cheap bastard," Connor muttered, opening the door wider to let him in.

Evan walked to the center of the room while Connor closed the door behind him, then moved to sit on the bed in front of him.

"So... You wanna 'help me'?" Connor started, raising an eyebrow at Evan.

"Um, y-yeah, I uh... I know James abuses you... I don't want you to get hurt anymore," he answered awkwardly, his hands going to the bottom of his shirt again.

"I don't need your help," Connor told him steadfastly. "I mean... Look, kid. You seem nice and you probably have good intentions, but I'm not in any danger. So you can stop worrying your pretty ass."

"Would you prefer it if I fucked you and left?" Evan asked quietly, furrowing his eyebrows. "Do you not crave any sort of attention or care?"

Something in Connor's expression faltered, but he hid it just as quickly.

"You should know damn well how much of that I get from James. Right? Since you followed us home-"

"I didn't follow you," Evan defended, holding up his hands. "I watched to make sure you were safe, which you didn't seem to be when he slapped you and dragged you away. Because I asked you before how he treated you and you lied to my face like you're doing now."

"I'm not lying," Connor lied, repressing the urge to let everything out. Everything from the past two years, from when he left home to the ticking seconds as he and Evan glared at each other. The sadness that seemed to have eaten his insides to hollow him out and make a nest inside where it could stay forever. The nervousness that his anxiety pills could never seem to dull. The anger he had at the world that he couldn't let out on James if he wanted to live.

Did he want to live?

"I know you're lying, Connor," Evan seemed to read him like an open book, "I've been a good judge of character my whole life."

"I'm not lying!" He repeated, louder this time.

"Stop saying that, I just want to help you. Why can't you accept my help?"

"I already told you, I don't need it."

"He hurts you, Connor! Don't you want it to stop?" Evan took a step back, his chest rising and falling visibly under his shirt with the faster breaths he took.

"Well, what are you gonna do about it?" Connor shot back, still louder than he needed to be.

"I-I don't know..." Evan mumbled, trying to bring himself to look into his eyes.

"Look, I didn't ask you to care," he nearly shouted, standing up to face Evan. He raised a hand as if he was going to hit the boy, who cowered away from him, but he curled his fingers into a fist and stared at them instead, his expression softening. "It's not... It's not your burden. It's mine."

Evan watched the anger drain from Connor's face, as a combination of sadness and exhaustion replaced it.

"Sorry," Connor whispered, moving his hand to wipe away a tear that he hadn't noticed falling down his face.

Taking a couple steps forward, Evan wrapped his arms around Connor, closing his eyes and resting his cheek against the taller boy's shoulder. For a second, Connor went rigid and Evan was scared he had triggered something or made him uncomfortable. But after a moment, Connor relaxed and loosely hugged him back.

"Don't be sorry," Evan told him quietly. "None of this is your fault. But please, don't try to resist my help. The life you're living is not safe and I can't just do nothing about it."

Connor nodded and tightened his grip on Evan. He never realised how nice it was to just hold someone without any sexual intentions from either party.

When Evan backed away, Connor felt cold and weak, like he might fall over any second. So he sat back down on the bed.

"I need you to help me with a plan," Evan declared, sitting on the ground in front of him. Connor glanced over at the clock on the nightstand.

"We only have like ten minutes," he told him. "James will get impatient if we take too long and... Y'know..."

"Okay. We can discuss for ten minutes," Evan assured him with a tiny smile. "So... I can't call the police. What you're doing is illegal, you'd most likely be arrested too."

Connor frowned, pulling his sleeves down over his hands.

"I don't think running away would be the best idea," Evan continued, placing his hands on his knees. "Neither would... Killing him. I really don't know how to approach this."

Connor's thoughts intruded his own mind, telling him that the only way out was suicide, but he pushed those away with all the strength he could muster.

"I think running away would be the best idea," Connor disagreed, playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. "But I have nowhere to go. And I don't have enough money to buy a new place. So I don't think it's possible."

Evan watched him as he thought for a while.

"I could call my mom," he decided after a minute. "She lives alone and she always tells me how much she wishes I was home. I mean, it's not the same, but you'll be safe and she won't be lonely."

"Evan," Connor stopped him. "I'm not the kind of person you want to bring home to meet your parents."

"Please," Evan breathed, looking up at him hopefully. "This is the only thing I can think of."

"I-I don't know." He looked at the floor, kicking at the carpet with the toe of his boot. "I mean, I barely know you, let alone your mother whom I've never met in my life. And it's not even that I can't trust you, I mean, I really have no choice, right? But I can't just intrude and demand all this help from the two of you, I-"

"You're not demanding anything. I understand that and I know she will too." Evan gave him a sympathetic smile.

Connor took a shaky breath and nodded.

"I'll think about it."

Standing up determinedly, Evan pulled Connor up as well.

"You're gonna be safe. Trust me, you'll like it so much better with my mom. If you decide to go."

Connor breathed a humourless laugh at his enthusiasm and grabbed his bag so they could leave.

"Wait." He stopped Evan at the door, then reached up to ruffle his hair. "You were supposed to fuck me, remember?"

Evan couldn't stop the redness forming on his cheeks, so he turned to lead the way out of the room.

noah galvin has such a pretty voice i can't wait for him to be evan