You can't spell space without ace (vkook)

If I can't be me, then what's the point?

People aren't born knowing everything; we learn new things every day and we need to keep in mind that it's okay to allow people around us to teach us, to show us how to be better people. We need to understand that our knowledge needs to keep being updated and for that to happen sometimes you must allow others to show you how to do that.

But even if exchanging knowledge is good, even if sharing opinions is great and even if we need to allow others to show us how to be better people, we cannot let them take control of our lives, we can't let them tell us how we should be.

People live their lives differently, no one is the same, and nobody thinks and acts the same, even if they share a lot of facts in common. We can't let others tell us how to live our lives; we can't allow them to tell us who we should be. We must learn how to grow better with the things people teach us, but in a way that we will remain true to ourselves. We need to learn how to make our own decisions based on the things we learn and we need to learn how to follow our hearts while still listening to our mind.

Jeongguk left Taehyung's apartment in the Sunday morning thinking about what the older had told him.

His friend was right; Jeongguk knows that people are complicated and that even if they have a bad side, sometimes the good in them makes it worth to keep them close. It was a relief to hear Taehyung saying those things to him, because Jeongguk was mad and hurt because of Yugyeom but it didn't feel right for him to simply cut relations with the boy, because for some reason, Jeongguk wants to remain friends with him.

If he allowed himself to listen to his heart, he would be able to see that his heart was telling him to keep Yugyeom, while his mind was saying to never give up on trying to teach his friend in order to make him less problematic. He thinks he can make that work.

Jeongguk knew that his sister was against that. In her mind Jeongguk should simply tell Yugyeom to fuck off and be done with it, because for his sister problematic people are not worth it and she hates them with such eager that it sometimes seems too much for Jeongguk.

According to her, problematic people are not "healthy" to be kept. She seems to think that they are toxic and that everything they do is toxic or something like that.

But as Taehyung told him, he shouldn't allow others to tell him what he should do. He used to let people take control of that before, he used to always think twice before doing things he likes because of what others told him, but he couldn't let that happen now, because if he can't do what he wants to do, then he is not being true to himself and that's not okay.

Jeongguk likes Yugyeom because they boy was there for him when he needed, he didn't distanced himself from Jeongguk after school like Kunpimook did, he was funny and kind and Jeongguk enjoyed being around him most of the time. They had been through a lot together and Jeongguk just felt it wasn't right to let him go now.

He knows he isn't friends with Yugyeom because he is problematic, he knows he doesn't blind himself to the problematic things his friend does, he knows he won't let Yugyeom influence him to be a bad person, so why the hell shouldn't he keep being friends with the boy if he really likes Yugyeom for the good in him? After all they had been through it just doesn't feels right to hate his friend, even if he hurt him.

Jeongguk thinks he can look past this and can try to show his friend that he is being ignorant, and if Yugyeom learns from it than he hit the jackpot, if not, then he tried his best but unfortunately he can't force his friend to be a better person if he refuses to do so.

He wouldn't cut Yugyeom from his life. It's his life, so he will do what feels right to him and fuck everyone else, because Jeongguk is also tired of focusing only on the bad side of things.

He may be a pessimist and for a huge part of his life, he would constantly search for the bad before he searched for the good, and he is just tired of this now.

His sister seems to focus too much on the bad side of things, she is always looking for all the problematic things people do and she really can't tell that the good in those things may outweighs the bad, because she never looks really far into the good side of it.

She will spend hours searching for problematic things people had done, without even knowing them, without even considering that yes they are problematic but maybe they are also good and perhaps the good in them is definitely bigger than the bad.

Jeongguk knows his sister doesn't really like Yugyeom and he is well aware that she thinks Jeongguk's friendship with him should've ended years back, but she also never talked to Yugyeom, she never saw the good side in him, so who is she to influence Jeongguk's decision on this matter?

The entire week after that Saturday at Taehyung's, Jeongguk's mind was going crazy with all these thoughts.

He would get a headache for thinking too hard at least twice a day and that was definitely driving him insane now.

Taehyung was being his adorable self and just trying to ease Jeongguk's mind, but that would only make Jeongguk overthink the other's actions.

Was he being nice like that because he cared for Jeongguk as just a friend, or was that because he had a crush on the younger? Was all the touching from Taehyung really necessary, or was that flirting? Was Taehyung sitting too close to him, or that was just Jeongguk's mind playing tricks on him?

In the end Taehyung only made him feel more nervous, but of course the younger didn't let this show, because he knew Taehyung was just being a good friend.

Jimin was also in the picture, with his constant stupid teasing. Jeongguk lost count of how many times he texted that middle finger emoji to his friend, but he knew it was a lot because it was now his number one most used emoji, passing the laughing and the crying emoji that Jeongguk used so damn much.

With his decision of not cutting relations with Yugyeom made, he now just needed to begin talking to his friend, instead of ignoring him.

But this week was against him because Yugyeom hadn't text him all week long, Jeongguk knew he was probably really busy with work so he tried to not overthink about this as well.

When Friday night finally came he got a text from his friend asking if he was free, in less than twenty minutes Jeongguk found himself inside Yugyeom's car on the way to the younger's house.

Unfortunately things didn't go as Jeongguk had planned though, because instead of succeeding in confronting his friend about how aphobic was his reaction towards Jeongguk's coming out, the boy ended up consoling his friend because Yugyeom's week had been hell and his anxiety was acting up again.

It was weird to hear Yugyeom thank him later on and tell him how Jeongguk was the only friend he could ever count on. Jeongguk could really feel that Yugyeom loves him; he could really feel how happy he was to have Jeongguk and shit this was messing with the younger's head.

Yugyeom was honest, he was caring, he was funny, he was cool and trustable, even if he had a heavy problematic side, he was still good deep down and Jeongguk felt weird about confronting him after what had just happened.

This was definitely not how this was supposed to go, but later that night, Jeongguk was simply binge watching a random show with his friend because Yugyeom wasn't feeling good and he needed something to ease his mind, and as the younger had done so many times before for Jeongguk, the other did it for his friend too.

They watched the show, that wasn't really good but made them laugh a few times so that was a win, and then they simply went to bed.

Yugyeom dragged Jeongguk to the movies on Saturday and before the younger could even realize, he had come back to his normal self with his friend.

After coming back home and lying on bed to sleep, Jeongguk wondered if what he did was okay, or if he should've acted differently.

He received a funny text from Yugyeom right after wondering about that and as he laughed so hard he almost fell of his bed, he thought that maybe he could talk to his friend another day.