ASUNDER (I) : tmr newt

24: I'm Missing

24 Ella

I am awake.

My body shoots straight up in the bed. It is bright out, and my room is empty. The sun shines in through the window next to me. When I look around, I don't see the smoke man. He is gone. Evaporated into the air that he was made up of.

Even though it should make me feel safe, it doesn't. Though he has disappeared, the smoke man is still here. The smoke man is everywhere, and everything at the same time.

The light that streams through the window casts a beam into the room. It shines onto the white covers on my feet, and it illuminates all the dust in the air.

For some reason, it feels darker than ever.

"Hello."

I leap out of bed at the sound of that voice.

I remember her.

Her laugh rings out, and I remember listening to its melody on the gloomiest of days. I remember the bedroom we lied in, and the smoke man waiting outside. I remember the flower that was on the brown dresser, and the white walls that surrounded us.

"You still are clumsy, even in the new life."

If she thinks this is a new life, she is wrong. This is a new death. When I peek up over the mattress, I see her sitting in a chair next to my bed. She, like the smoke man, is not here. At the end of it all the smoke man was truly seeing mel, but I know for certain that she is truly not.

"What?" She shakes her head, "forgot how to talk?"

I duck back down behind the covers. My back is against the bed I was just lying in, and I can feel my chest heaving.

She feels much more real than the smoke man, even though he was more real than her. The smoke man has a way of wrapping himself around my mind. He suffocates and controls, even though I knew him to be a fabrication of my own subconscious. She, however, feels real in the room. The space she occupies feels empty without her in it, and my mind feels blank without her words.

When I close my eyes and breathe, I can see what she looked like. I can see her pale skin, and her blonde hair, and her sheets that surround her. I can hear her humming in the dark, and I can hear her humming now.

She isn't in the chair when I peek back over. She isn't there anymore, but she is still humming. It's a tune that is all too familiar to me.

I leap over the bed, heading to the door. If I can follow her voice, I can find her. Once I find her, I can apologise for letting her slip between my fingers. She was so many things, and I was a fool for taking my eyes off her.

"You didn't."

She is speaking, calling for me as I run down the stairs. Leaping, bounding down the stairs, I follow her voice out of the Homestead and into the Glade.

Everything is green. The porch is brown, sure, but the grass is the greenest it has ever been. She isn't even here and she is bringing the colour back to the Glade. Scaring away the grey man second by second. I can see him sinking out of the boys here. Sure, his colour still remains, but it isn't as strong as it once was.

"I did." I whisper it just for her.

My ears snap, as I can hear a scream. It's not the nearly fake-real hers is though. It's an echo of a memory long forgotten. I can't tell who it is. It could be her, it could be me, or it could be a completely different girl. The scream is grey, and I can feel the smoke man at the center of it all. He's pulling the strings to my story.

Even if he is gone, I will always be his puppet. A million years from now, when the human race is dead and gone, I will still belong to him.

Not a million. Maybe not even a decade.

"Ella," the voice swims around me, and as I spin I can't tell where it is coming from.

She could be anywhere, but I know she is not here. When the smoke man takes them, they do not come back.

She was one of the first to go.

"It's fine."

My knees drop beneath me, and I can feel my head spinning. This is what happened last time. I can't afford to risk collapsing again. I was out for at least a while.

But she is so very worth the pain.

Someone's arms are on me, trying to support me. When I look up it is the brunette, and she is looking down at me. I feel her hand on my face, feeling my cheeks and my forehead.

"You're awake." She breathes it out, as if she is startled.

Her humming is gone, and with it her. I peer around over the brunette's shoulder to see if she is anywhere, but she has returned to the air from where she came. When I stand up, the brunette follows me up.

"You should be lying down." She tells me. "We still aren't sure why you fainted."

If I told her it was the smoke man, she wouldn't believe me. I could even tell her it was the violet girl, but she wouldn't know who it is I am talking about. None of them are the violet girl anyway. They are my coalition.

Right, I have a responsibility to these girls.

"Sorry, Leo."

She seems even more startled as I talk to her. I assume she has heard my voice before. I know she has, I've spoken in a room with her before. Not to her, I don't think.

The smoke man makes everything fuzzy. I couldn't really tell you up from down when he is in the room. He has a way of making everything cement. Thick, heavy, and the blandest of colours.

Leo's colour is much more vibrant since I last saw her. Sure, the grey is still seeping in at the corners of our existence. I can't tell if it is the violet girl who has returned her brightness, or if it is the confidence that keeps her spine straight.

"Leo?"

I nod, and she nods right back. Rubbing her hands together, I watch her bite her lip.

"Right, well," I know she doesn't know where she is going. "We need to check you out."

She heads back towards the Homestead, and I follow after her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry. I'm back, and I will post again Sunday (hopefully).

Please be happy.