ASUNDER (I) : tmr newt

25: I'm Here

25 Leo

"It's true that she woke up?"

The log creaks and groans as Newt sits down next to me.

For some reason, the boys here insist upon having a bonfire every night. Their drinking habits depend on the mood, and the evening, but today seems to be going well. Dawn sits on the other side of me with a glass. She slowly slips the liquid, much different from her usual radical behaviour.

Across the fire a few Builders shove each other around on the log. Though they create noise, it had been eerily quiet.

Dawn must've stolen the liquid. I watch her eyes dart around over the top of the glass, looking for something. She barely notices me staring at her. Whatever she is looking for has enraptured her full attention for hours. I've never seen her this quiet before.

Then again, I've never seen her before really. It's only slightly off.

"Leo?"

My eyes let go of her as I turn to see Newt. "Sorry?"

"The girl." He asks as he furrows his brow. "Tiny, quiet-"

"Awake," Dawn says.

She raises the liquid, slamming it down her throat. When she is done, she lets the empty glass fall to the ground. It doesn't break or shatter, it only thuds against the dirt. In a second she is up and walking away from us.

Her hair shakes down her back as she rips it out of the ponytail. The long blonde strands bounce, and flow in the cool night air.

"Leo?"

I snap my eyes away from her, which is so very hard, turning to look at Newt. He has a puzzled grin on his face, one that he wears with a grin and the shake of his head.

"Sorry," I try to give him half a smile but he doesn't buy the gesture for half a second. "Can you repeat what you said?"

"I asked if she was alright," he adjust himself so he is looking me more head on, "but maybe I should be asking you that question."

I can't maintain the contact he holds with me, so I look down at my lap and back at Dawn. I catch a glimpse of her heading into the Deadheads. I find my feet beneath me, standing up to get a better look at her. Is she going in there alone? It's dark, and only getting darker the farther she moves from the bonfire.

"Leo?"

I can feel his hand on mine, and when I spin around we both recoil from the touch. Newt can't really meet my eyes. Instead, he chooses to scratch the back of his neck with his hands. I swallow, biting the inside of my cheek as I stare him down.

"Sorry, I just-"

"It's fine." I tell him.

Really, it is fine. Nothing is happening that he should be apologising for. He was just trying to get my attention, like everyone else here. Why is he always so skittish?

"Do you want to talk?"

"Sure," I shrug, waiting for him to move.

The Builders have become quiet since I stood up. Crackling fires, and the air whistling through my hair fills the space between Newt and I.

"Right." I can hear him breathing as he turns around.

The ground crunches beneath his feet as he moves around the log, and out to the other side of the Homestead. I pull a strand of hair off my face, tucking it back behind my ear before I follow him forward. The Builders are laughing behind me, and for a second I have to turn and look to make sure they aren't laughing at me.

One of them fell on the ground.

I turn away, adjusting the green button-up I'm wearing with my hands as I step around the log. When I round the corner, I see Newt looking back and waiting for me.

"Sorry, Leo," he begins. "I don't mean to be so-"

"Odd?"

"Quiet," he corrects, crossing his arms. "You think I'm behaving oddly?"

"Well," I shake my head, avoiding making eye-contact as I move up closer to him. "You've sort've been on edge since Michelle was almost banished."

He nods. It's true. Normally he and I don't really talk much, but whenever he sees me since that event he stands slightly further away. I've seen him speak to Dawn normally, and hang around the bed of the younger girl without saying a word. For some reason he can't be near me.

"People are talking." He begins, as we move closer to the Walls.

I don't like being near them, in the day time or in the night. It sends shivers up my spines and waves of nerves across my arms. I know that just on the other side of this stone could be a monster, waiting to tear me to shreds. Here, I am too close to danger.

Dawn was almost killed out there. I don't want anyone to be next.

"I mean, people have mouths for that reason." It's a poor attempt at a joke, and we both know that I've failed. Whatever is happening isn't funny. Newt isn't laughing, and I'm not laughing. Of course people are talking, but generally when they do so nothing but bad things happen. People are like that. They can't be trusted.

"About you," he begins. "There's a rumour going around that you're a Keeper now."

I'm not. "Well, we both know that's not true."

"Right," he continues, "but people are still talking. They think you are, getting a little close to the Keepers. To have a say. Do you catch what I am-"

"People think I am shucking sleeping with you?" I demand.

He stops in his tracks, and shushes me with a finger to his lips. How can he be so calm?

"No, they think you are sleeping it up with Alby."

Oh, that's great. Alby is decent and all, but he is nothing incredibly special. I'm mostly just trying to get on his good side. He can think I am sleeping Alby all he wants, but there is no way I am doing that. Does he believe that?

"You don't seriously think-"

"Of course not," he answers. "It was some slinthead who started it, probably because they're mad about Alby's new rule. Of course it's a load of klunk. I just wanted to warn you, that's all."

I look up at Newt. I realise I don't really know much about the second-in-command. Sure, I trust him. Newt has done nothing but stick up for me and the other girls since we first got here. Even right now, he's risking a bit of his reputation to come and talk to me about this rumour.

It feels like I've been here way longer than seven days. So far, every minute feels like a century.

"Thank you."

He seems a bit surprised by my words. "Greenie, you've got nothing to thank me for. I'm not doing anything."

"You stuck out your neck for Michelle," I begin. "You've been looking out for the tiny girl as well, and I assume you and Dawn are friends."

"As much as Dawn is with everyone else." He jokes.

Right. Dawn likes to laugh and party with pretty much everything and anything she can get her hands on. Like her Keeper, and the Keeper of the Runners.

Her and Minho. Did she go to meet him in the forest? Is that why she is so sour and upset? Was he late? She can't just keep running to him, especially when there are rumours running around, and Michelle was almost banished. Honestly, she is so reckless.

"Are there any rumours about her?" I ask.

He furrows his brow, as he looks up. "Dawn? No, nobody's been talking about her. Probably because they all have hope they can still get with her."

If only they knew.

The thought of guys all going after gone leaves a pit in my stomach and an itch on my shoulder. It's gross, right? That's what this is?

"Are you alright?" He asks, waving a hand in front of my face.

I laugh, looking back up at Newt. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just, stressed out."

He nods, looking back at me. "I get it. It's hard to be in charge. I only became second a couple weeks ago, after Nick died. He was in charge before Alby."

I knew that. I can tell Alby only just got in charge, but with Newt it's different. He takes his role pretty seriously, and seems to know what to do in every and any situation that arises.

"What did you do before you were second?" I ask.

He shrugs, before he sighs. "I was a Track-hoe."

"Zart became Keeper when you became second?"

He shakes his head, looking at the ground, before back at me. "No."

I can't hold the eye contact with him, so I look away, but he keeps speaking.

"I was Keeper of the Runners before I went to work for Zart."

Newt used to be a Runner? I never knew he had even left the Glade, let alone he was Keeper of the boys who did it. He must've had to stop because of his limp. Because something got to him in the Maze.

When I look up at him, I see him looking past me at the bonfire. I spin to see Alby strolling in, and yelling at a couple of the boys on the log.

"What's going on?" I ask.

Newt shrugs beside me. "My guess, something new is coming out about Michelle. Alby found out the bruise on the Bagger was fake."

"What?" I spin around to stare at Newt.

He looks down at me. "Yeah, sorry I should've told you when I found out. They just smeared dirty and blueberries or something on the guy's face. Michelle never swung at them. She's coming out tomorrow."

So she was minding her own business in the Deadheads when they found her, and started attacking her? Did she even steal the screwdriver, or cause damage? There is no grounds for a banishment.

"Alby is lucky Gally changed his vote."

Newt shakes his head. "No, he's not."

"Why? If word had gotten out that the charges on Michelle were fabricated, and he had banished her, he'd lose his seat on the council." I say. "Or much worse."

Newt nods. "Yeah, but now with Gally siding with us, it looks like we are trying to take over Alby's seat. We aren't."

"You're politics are ridiculous." I sit on the ground in a huff.

Newt laughs, before he squats down slightly behind me. He doesn't say a word, but I can hear his shuffling, and I can feel him behind me.

I look up and lie down in the grass, staring up at the stars. They are so far away, but they are the only thing I see that is different around here. I've been here a week and almost know the Glade like the back of my hand. There are so many stars however, and I don't know if I will ever recognise them all.

"You're doing the right thing." Newt tells me. "By taking on leadership I mean."

I don't know that I am.

He's lying down next to me, so when I turn to look at him, I realise how close we are.

"You can't know that." I tell him, as hair falls into my face. "You don't know the first thing about me. I don't know the first thing about you."

"I'll go first." He begins. "My name is Newt, I'm second-in-command. I know I talk like a bloody idiot, but now that Dawn's here I know I'm at least not the only one. My favourite colour is red, and my favourite time of day is 9:00PM."

I scrunch up my nose. "Why?"

"No, it's your turn." He cuts me off. "Don't you understand how the game works? Tell me about yourself."

"I don't know who I am." I answer, almost laughing.

"Sure, you do." He rolls his eyes, choosing to ignore me. "Come on Leo."

"Fine," I sigh, though I'm not actually mad about it. What am I going to say? "I'm Leo. For some reason I represent the girls that came up here. I've exist for a week, which is to say no time at all."

"Leo, you are doing it all wrong," Newt sighs, propping himself up on to his elbow. "Tell me about you."

"I am." My voice gets higher as I say it, because I am both shocked and confused at his response.

"You're just saying facts that I could tell you." He shakes his head as he persists. "No, tell me about who you are."

This is a lot harder than I thought.
He nods at me as he stares me down, prompting me to go forward. I can't say it and look at him.

"Right, before I was so rudely interrupted," I tease. "I said I was Leo. I'm a Med-Jjack, because I care about people. That's probably why I am okay with being in charge. I want to learn about how to help people, and I know I can't do it yet. When the Walls first closed, I about klunked my pants, not literally but you get it. I'm scared pretty easily. About the future, and the Walls, and about being in charge."

When I look at him, I see how he is no longer smiling. He is staring at me. His eyes focused on mine, his mouth slightly agape. He is waiting for me to keep going, and as I stop a smile shows up slightly on his face.

"I don't want to be in charge," I continue. "That's what Alby said would make me a good leader. I don't think that he's really right about that. A good leader is selfless. I'm not, but I want to be."

"You want to be a good leader, or you want to be selfless?"

When Newt asks me thr question, his normal playful demeanor is gone, but so is his serious one. He stares at me without firmness in his hand or a joke in his eye.

"I don't know." I tell him.

He reaches over to me and brushes a strand of hair out of my face.

I sit straight up, and so does he. It's him that scoots away from me though, not vice versa. He takes a second to gather himself up as he stands, and I sit on the ground looking back up at him.

"I should be going." He says.

I nod, as he leaves, walking behind me.

~~~
Poor Leo. I know exactly what I'm getting into. There are two possibilities, and I'm fucking shit up.

Until Thursday, ponder.