ASUNDER (I) : tmr newt

58: I'm Pissed

58 Dawn

Everyone is gone. I don't mean everyone, of course, since Frypan sits around the fire with Dave and Frankie. A bunch of the Builders and Track-hoes are mingling and talking too.

Although all I really wanted to do was talk to Minho. He isn't anywhere to be found though. I never saw him come through the Doors but I assume he did at some point or another, given that no one was waiting at the Doors for him to come back.

Clint is peeking over at me, from where he stands. Jeff is rambling on to him about something or another unimportant. Ignoring this, Clint continues to look at me as if he is analysing me.

I stand up, walking away from where I sit. If Clint wants to talk to me, he can. I have no need to let him stare at me over and over.

The further I walk, the further I move away from the Slammer. It bothers me, that place. I mean, it bugged me when I was in there and I saw Michelle's blood all over the walls. Now, all I can think about is Ben.

He didn't touch me. He didn't kiss me, and he didn't get what he wanted. Maybe that's why I'm not as upset as I should be. Maybe I saw it coming. What was I expecting, being here? Did I think he was just walking around at night trying to have a chat with me?

I feel my fist tightening into a ball. I'm angry. Mostly at myself, but also at him and at everyone else here who keeps staring at me.

"I got the message," I turn around.

There he is, standing behind me. His nose is swelling dark purple, not just around the bite marks. His skin, a terrible colour which stains the skin above his lip a deep red, is puffy, and his eyes seem to be blackening in bags. His chin is a deeper purple as well, dark and horrible.

I don't know what he is talking about. "Get away from me." My voice trembles in ways I do not expect. He makes me feel so very small.

"Sending people to beat me up isn't really going to do you much help anyway." He looks straight at me, eyes burning. "I could tell Alby, and then you'll all be shucking banished for sure."

"So will you," at this he stiffens.

I may not know him, but he is easy to figure out. Ben is self-centered. A preservationist at his core, he is not going to die just to spite me and Minho. His threat was not idle, since he thought there'd be no proof he had done something wrong. Now, you can clearly see on his nose I left my mark.

There is a difference between what is wrong and what is punishable. It is wrong to yell terrible slurs at others, but I hear Gally do it everyday to the boys who work for him without repercussions. Ben attempting to hurt me is both wrong and banish able. Minho and I, though we are breaking the rules, have done nothing wrong. It can never be wrong to care for someone else.

I would not rat on Ben as both he and I have done punishable offenses, even though I have done nothing wrong.

"Just shucking call off your dog," he turns to walk away, although he calls over his shoulder, "or I'll call on mine."

When he is gone, I can breathe lighter. Why is it so hard to exist when he is around?

Where is Minho and what did he do?

I move forward, towards the map room. The Runners have been out of there for a while, which means if Minho's in there he's been in there for a shucking long time. It also means no one will see me sneak in.