ASUNDER (I) : tmr newt

64: I'm Waiting

Ella 64

The sky is lilac, and I am missing you.

"You're lucky you can see the boys at all," skin pale from the cold room, I watch her turn towards me.

She is so white that I (though I have never seen snow) imagine she is paler. The lack of colour is only emphasized by the honey tones in her hair. Her lips compliment the light hue, due to the coldness that rings through the night. They are stained so deep red they look almost purple.

A sort of violet, actually, as the colour is saturated with blue.

I am not lucky to see him. "You don't know what he is like. What they are like."

She snuck in to see me, or I snuck into see her. We were somehow younger than I am now. It was years ago after all.

"Oh please El..."

"Don't call me that," I tell her flatly, sighing. Don't call me Ella, for Ella is not my name. It is not the one my parents gave me before I was ripped away, nor the one I want leaving her small and fragile lips.

She brings her knees up into her chest, her hair sprawled along the bed behind her. I wonder if she sleeps like this; curled up in a ball and sad, and alone. If I could, I'd take it back. Take everything back even if it meant I would've never met her. We both want this to end, I guess.

"They are taking us tomorrow," her voice cracks and creaks.

This is the last time I will ever see her. I didn't ask her if she got a chance to say goodbye to her other half. It would explain why she came here so late.

I don't think she realises she is saying goodbye to me as well. I am not going.

"We will meet again, on the other side you know." I tell her, letting her think I am going with her. I don't want to disappoint her. There doesn't seem to be anyway for us to break out of this mess. In a few years, I imagine, I will find her again.

She nods, looking down. It was always her who was calm and caring, you know? Never me. This proves difficult, since I've already pretty much forgotten how to stop a girl from crying, or at a very minimum, how to speak.

"Yeah, but..." she trails off, breathing in. "It's hard, you know? I didn't choose any of this, and you didn't either. It feels like the whole world is trying to stop us from being together."

There is no whole world.

And I can picture in front of me still. She still looks as young as she once did. So does the bringer of destruction. I can see him in the corner too, waiting. I could've stopped him. Instead, I decided to let him tear our universe apart. No more purple, no more yellow. Smoke came through, and dragged away all the colours. Now, we are trapped in a black and white world. Without each other.

"Promise me you'll find me again?" She is careful with her words, painting them down against the ground.

I would come back for her in a million lifetimes. She reaches for my hand, and I take it firmly within my grasp.

I can't remember what she feels like.

The universe comes crashing down.

Of course I will find her again.

I can't remember if I told her I would never stop looking for her.

At first, I just rip apart the sheets, until I move closer to the door. They have locked me in. My nails claw against the handle, trying to rip it out of its socket. Trying to pull myself through and escape. I will tear down this whole universe if I must. She cannot escape me. I have left her behind and abandoned her, and I need it to be day 28, because that is when it will all change, and soon thereafter I can find her again.

"Please," I can feel my voice hoarse and harsh.

I had forgotten who I was, and the world is bleeding with colour. I shot myself in the head and the wrong angle, and I remember. Not quite all of it, not quite the wrong angle, but I remember. The Violet girl in bits and pieces, as well as that secret club built upon destruction, and those three girls before we got here.

For now, our end is here.

"He is coming!" I shriek, begging them to hear me. "Please Leo, you must remember me. We had a deal, alright? I promise we can fix it but you have to help me out. We can beat the Maze, and we can do what they want, alright? I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen."

No one comes, although I can hear someone's footsteps moving about above me.

I don't know who is coming, but I feel the door unlocking. Behind it is Zart, and a seemingly exhausted Clint. I leap into Zart's arms, not knowing what is taking over me nor who I am. Clint grabs hold of me, pulling me away and moving me back to the bed.

"You are hallucinating." He tells me.

I shake my head. "No, I remember. I did it wrong and I remember." Zart moves up next to him, and I can see his lip quiver. I turn to stare him down, shaking my head. "Please, I'm not going crazy. I can't explain what is happening, but it's going to be over soon. The whole place will fall apart and it will be my fault. I could've stopped it."

"Ella," Clint warns, holding a syringe in his hand.

I skeeter around to the other side of the bed, backing away from Clint. He is full technicolour, they both are.

"No, seriously Clint, it's different." I don't know why it changed suddenly. "You know the Creators, right? They do something to... to stop... I... I botched it. The angle-"

"What is she talking about?" Zart asks carefully.

I pause, looking at him. I forgot no one knows his theory. I assume maybe Leo or Jeff knows, but I can't be sure.

"I remember bits and pieces." I tell him, staring at Clint as I do so.

"No one can know." Clint stares me down, as I watch his chest move. I really pissed him off, but I had to say something. "I'm not even sure that's what's happening."

Zart just stands still, staring me down. He turns to Clint for a second, pausing. "So you lied to the Gathering? She really remembers?"

"I don't know," Clint begins, turning to him. "It's not worth starting a witch hunt over. Especially not when they are already looking into Dawn's beating. Michelle was arrested today too. Alby won't hesitate to banish them all."

"You can't let anyone know," I tell him, breathing in and out. "It won't matter soon, because they come up and we go down. I'll... you don't... I'm not crazy!"

In a flash, Clint lunges across the bed, pinning me against the wall. A scream rips out from my throat as I thrash against him. He manages to prick me anyway, and the world becomes foggy once more.

~~~~~
Well, Ella is losing it. But so am I?
Have you figured out who anybody is from her past? What are your guesses?

I'll see you soon in Leo and Illness