Always & Forever (D. Swing)

Chapter 63.

Devyn

Mid August 1987

I cried and I cried once the medicine wore off because I couldn't really express my emotions while on it, so I took nothing the next day and cried. That's all I could do. What else is there I can do? Never have I ever felt so betrayed in my life. I take that back, being that I actually have been, plenty of times but for some reason this one hurts this most. This is a person I truly believed actually thought about how I'd feeling before doing something harmful, the same way I do for him. He had slept with my ex best friend, but we weren't together then and I had realized I couldn't do anything about it, nor be mad. But this time, it cuts deeply. I seen everything with my own two eyes. The way she went in and out of him, the way she kissed along his smooth skin, how hypnotized he was by her. There's a lacerated open wound in my heart all because of him. The blood slowly pouring out as I'm still flabbergasted in the state of disbelief. I don't understand how I didn't see the signs, but love is very blinding. Love played a fool of me. Had me thinking our love was true, when I was possibly only being used for pleasure and boredom.

I begin laughing as all the events replay in my in my head again like scenes of a movie. I couldn't comprehend why. Why would he do such a thing like that to me? He could barely even respond to me that evening, only claiming that he loves me with an effortless tone. It just didn't make sense. But when does anything in this world actually make sense? It never does and my questions will probably remained unanswered.

There's a reason why I've always stayed away from relationships. There's a reason why I never had any sort of interest towards them. During every race, there's a start and finish; usually having obstacles that lead up to the finish line. Iris warned me about the types of things. She always told me that I should be my own man and to never fall in love. I stood by her word because I looked up to her despite the horrible flaws she extracted out to the world. It's amusing to me because she was spitting all of these monologues yet she didn't even follow her beliefs. But that's one of the reasons why she didnt want me with Donald. She knew what love could do to young girl. A girl experiencing the feeling for the first time in her life.

Though, that's all thrown out the window though. The mentality I had before I met Michael, Kobe, Nay Nay, Destiny, Dalvin, and Donald is now slightly back in session. Working and graduating are the only things on my mind.

"Hi, welcome to KFC, how may I help you?" I force an exaggerated smile onto my face without looking at the customer. I've been working here for about a week after applying for my first job. I didn't exactly want to work here but it's the closest work force around my dad's house that actually would take the age I when I applied for the job sixteen—but my birthday quickly passed and now I'm seventeen so they could definitely hire me. I still want to purchase that dress I saw despite me probably having no date to prom. I want it badly.

My smile quickly falls at the person walking towards me. Once I notice it's not a customer, instead being what I assume another coworker I nearly throw up in my mouth as I grow sick. The dramatic, noisy girl who always brought unwanted attention whenever we were together in the hallways during the mornings of freshmen and half of sophomore year. The girl who got ambushed by the football players. The girl who slept with my ex boyfriend and unknowingly made my time at school hell at the beginning of junior year.

"Look what we got here." Traveling around the counter, she removes the small purse that hung off her shoulder smirking at me. "You work here now?" The cat-like eyes I once knew gaze into mine. I can honestly say this is the first time I've actually stared into her eyes and saw my old friend, reminiscing of the times we shared before everything went down the drain all because of mishaps and the desired fantasy of a male. Though the recollection of memories all come to an end once I backtrack to the dumb ass question she just asked me.