Always & Forever (D. Swing)

Chapter 79.

Devyn

The changes in my body began to take a toll on me now that I'm about two months and some change. The discomfort I have for the drastic phenomena brings upon harder mood swings, making it challenging to survive my personality. I didn't want to be difficult but it was hard not to. I know I was starting to get on everyone's nerves that surrounded me. The quiet sighs and frustrations shown on their face gives it all away. Many people don't know why I'm acting this way. I feel bad at the way I've been acting except towards my father. He deserves every attitude and sly comment shooting his way whenever he decides to start an argument with me. This change has made me more feisty and prone to a fight or flight mentality where I just literally give it my all or nothing. If you tell me that you want to fight me, I might just go along with it despite me being occupied and not in the state to have a physical altercation. If someone were to tell me to kill myself, I might just consider it but I don't if I'd go along with the plan. The emotions bottled up within me used to always come out here and there, but I'm now progressing with expressing every emotions someone presence provokes.

I don't think there's no way in hell that D doesn't find me at least irritating. For the past two weeks, Donald and I began arguing more often than usual, getting under each other's skin. What's amusing to me is that the arguments are over very little things which end up being blown out of proportion. Sometimes he acts like he knows what he's talking about but he really doesn't know, just to prove that I'm wrong. He's been on my ass about everything. It frustrates me and I know one day in going to smack the shit out of him, but I know I'd deserve getting slapped back so I'm going to restrain from doing that simply because I love him.

Sitting in my second period listening to a restless lecture about college, another class is in our room because their air conditioning had stopped working and my teacher let them share ours. Sitting a few seats down from me was Shantelle. How ironic of me to see her but we said nothing to each other the entire time this speech has been going on. It's the same speech they give seniors every year about colleges, campuses, tuition, and everything else that might interact with our adult lives. Tapping my foot lightly against the floor, I glance up at the clock, noticing we only have five minutes until we can go to lunch.

"I have a question." Snapping out of my random thoughts, the voice of a lemur catches my attention. Shantelle raises her hand waiting to be answered. The teacher hands her full attention, nodding her head. "I mean.. like..what if we're pregnant? How will we.." She giggles to herself. "I just don't understand. How would we survive if we're a single parent on our own in college?"

Widening her eyes, the spokeswoman looks taken aback for. "Well, that's an interesting question. That's the first I heard today." Surprisingly, that's a shock by the amount of pregnancies we have in this city. "Being pregnant in college isn't very much taboo. It's a rare case to see, but it happens. The first advice I have for any pregnant woman going to college is don't give up. No matter how hard it is or how drained and stressed you may be, don't give up... wait", she pauses, "if you don't mind me asking, are you pregnant?" She tilts her head to the side.

"Oh, I'm not pregnant. I just wanted to know how this whole experience and everything goes along because I know we have some pregnant people in this school.. or some in this very room." She attempts to make the last few words a whisper. Smirking to myself, I turn my lips up at her saying she knows someone that's pregnant.

"Alright, so um", she clears her throat avoiding the tense atmosphere that has now arrived, "another thing is don't hesitate to put down you're pregnant on an application. You could qualify for financial aids to cover a lot of things from living expenses and learning costs to childcare and whatever else."

"Haha", clapping her hands together, shantelle raves in joy, "you hear that, Devyn? You can actually go to college after all and not need a deadbeat baby daddy to help you along the way." Shrieking into my ears, the bell rings rather loudly with students sprinting from the classroom. Smiling to myself, I grab my things with ease, squeezing my way through many people to get out of the classroom to find the lemur.