PART THIRTY SIX

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a/n baby Tom fills my heart omg

He put his arms around my waist and kissed me.

"I love you" he said.

I want to say it back, but it didn't feel right.

"I... love you too." I said as steadily as possible.

I knew that it was a lie but I didn't want to let down Harrison.

But what if he found out that I didn't mean it? That would break him.

Why was Tom the only thing on my mind when I already had Harrison? This was not normal in a relationship. It was not right.

I tried to get the thought out of my head but it kept coming back throughout the day. I just didn't understand. Zendaya saw something was wrong, I wasn't acting like my normal self.

"What's going on?" She said quietly as she took my hands in hers.

"Nothing.. I'm uh-fine" I said as convincingly as I could.

She didn't believe it though. She gave me a hug and said "when you're ready to talk about it call me."

I look at her "there's uh nothing really to um talk about-t. " I say as my eyes fill with tears.

I turn away from her. She was just trying to help, but I wouldn't let her.

"Please call me!" She said as she left.

I nodded. I couldn't get my gaze off Tom during the day. I didn't talk to anyone but i smiled at Tom a couple times. He was like a magnet, this was all so confusing.

When it was time, i went home and cooked some dinner. My phone rang, it was Zendaya but i didn't want to pick up, I was too scared that I would break down into tears.I took my dinner to the table and slumped into the chair.

Stabbing my chicken, I wondered why I could never handle my problems.

What was wrong with me?

Why am I like this?

Why was I stabbing my chicken?!

While eating, i scrolled through Instagram. Tom had posted a picture with Brittany, and I couldn't handle it. I went back to the photos of me and him. It hurt me to see how close we were. I put my phone down and went to wash the dishes.

Luna ( my dog) followed me around and i went to sit on the couch, i picked up Luna and placed her on my lap. I watched a few tv shows and I lost track of time. It was late when I picked up my phone again. There were multiple messages from Zendaya and Harrison.

a/n so I was editing this book for like the third time and I saw that I spelt "your" instead of "you're" smh

a/n so I was editing this book for like the third time and I saw that I spelt "your" instead of "you're" smh

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