Roommates - (E.D.)

Chapter 19

I entered and took a deep breath. I threw my pants off and started to pee on the stick. After it I exited and put it near the sink waiting for those evil two minutes. I washed my hands and then I checked it.

"Oh." I said.

"What does it say?" Olivia asked.

"I can't even-" I said leaving the stick near the sink.

She came closer and looked at it. "Oh... Two red bars... You're... You're pregnant."

I started hyperventilating. I can't have a baby. I'm too young.

"Hey! Breathe! You're gonna be fine. Everything will be fine." She said patting my back.

"Everything won't be fine. I'm fucking pregnant! What can I do now? I don't wanna have babies. First I'm still in college, and second I'm only 20. I don't want my life to be like that... Not yet at least. Not like this."

I tried to calm down, taking deep breaths but it was harder than I thought.

"First you should tell Ethan. Then you'll have to talk about and find a solution."

"A solution..." My eyes were wide open. "I need some air first."

"Sam, are you in there?" I heard Ethan knocking on the door.

"Oh God. No. I'm not ready yet." I whispered to Olivia.

I washed my face to make it seems like I didn't cry. Obviously it didn't work. My eyes were still puffy.

"Yeah." My voices cracked. "Hey!" I said exiting and facing him.

"Hey, are you okay? It looks like you cried." He said caressing my cheek.

"No... I'm fine." I cracked a smile. "Can you hug me?"

"Come here." He wrapped me in his arms and held my tight. "I knew you weren't really okay. But you'll tell me when you're ready. I'm always here."

How? How can he act so kind when I'm lying to him? I don't deserve him. I don't if I'll be able to tell him the truth, but I have to. He deserves to know. Plus in some months I couldn't hide it anymore.

"I'll see you later in our room. I just need a walk now." I said.

"Okay see you later." He kissed my cheek.

I started walking around campus thinking about how to start the conversation. What I would have said. And of course what would it have been "my solution" to this situation. An hour passed but it felt like seconds. Why when you have something important that scares you time flies so quickly?

I walked back to the dorms and took a deep breath before entering in the room. He was there probably waiting for me.

"Hey..." I said closing the door behind me.

"Hey. Did the walk work?"

"Kinda." I went closer to him and we sat on the bed.

He took my hands. He's waiting for me to talk.

"Remember all those nauseas I've every morning? Uhm... Well it wasn't an intoxication. I took a test today and... I'm pregnant."

He didn't reply. He's shocked. Of course who wouldn't be.

"Ethan?" I said after a few.

He shook his head, as if he was sending away some thoughts. He then looked at me.

"Are... Are you sure?"

"Yes, there were two red bars on the stick. I could do another one if you want. It could have been a fake positive."

He nodded and I ran to the infirmary to take another test. I returned to the room and went to the bathroom. I washed my hands and waited again. The result was the same. So it's true. It wasn't a fake positive. Ugh. Ethan walked in and looked at the stick. We both don't know what to do.

We sat again on the bed, because the conversation wasn't obviously ended.

"So... What would you want to do?" I asked.

"I don't know. I don't want a baby right now. I love you Sam but I'm not ready for being a dad yet."

"Me neither to be a mom."

"We should let someone adopt the baby when the pregnancy will be over. Maybe?" He said not completely sure about it.

"I don't wanna be like Juno. I don't wanna be pregnant. I don't wanna have a huge belly..."

"Are you talking about...?"

"I- I think it's the right thing to do..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes..." I said looking down.

I've never been so scared in my all life. I don't know if it's really the right thing or not, but I don't wanna spend 9 months with a baby in my belly, and then get rid of it to another family. I think that it'll be worse. Right?

"Okay then..."

"I'll call tomorrow for an appointment."

He nodded.

"I need you by my side. Can you come with me when it'll be the time?"

"Of course. I'll never leave you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He hugged me, holding me tight to him and caressing my hair.