#41 in Spiritual 2/3/17.
Religion. It's a big part of you. Some would say that religion is basically who you are.
All her life Amira has been told who she is. What she is.
A Muslim girl.
But the more she learns about her religion the more she r...
Guys LISTEN I MESSED UP OK. HOW I WROTE THIS CHAPTER IS NOT HOW I WANTED IT TO BE. SO I'VE REWRITTEN THE LOVE CONFESSIONS. IF YOU DON'T WANNA READ THE WHOLE THING AGAIN THEN JUST KNOW THAT SHE DOES NOT TELL HIM SHE LOVES HIM. HE TELLS HER THOUGH. OKBYE THANKS. LOVE YOU.
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I'm in front of our door- a mess of nerves- for the second time today. Mulling over the same thing in my head as last time but this time was different. This time he loves me back, he has for a long time now. This time I've decided not to think.
As soon as Seid opens the door I rush in without even looking at him properly.
"I need to say something," I announce, taking my coat off.
"No, I need to say something," I look at him in his mustard sweater and messed up hair. He looks nervous.
"What?" I ask.
"You first," he steps closer and gently brushes the snow out of hijab folds.
"I want you to go first," I reply and he smiles.
"First of all I'm sorry for upsetting you earlier today and secondly, this might not be what you want to hear," he says. I wonder what he means by that? My mind goes back to the coffee shop when he told me we weren't ever friends, back to that night in the hotel when he said we wouldn't ever end up together.
I've started thinking again and I need to stop.
"Actually," I say before I lose my nerve, "Why don't I go first?"
"If that's what you want," he replies, we're standing in the middle of our lounge now, the only source of light is the balcony and the tiny lamp in the corner.
"Okay," I take a deep breath and look up at him. His eyes are bright, earnest. I open my mouth and close it several times. How do I start?
"Any day now," Seid chuckles. Maybe I should've let him go first?
"I've been thinking," I start.
"Really? That's new," he says sarcastically and I slap him across his arm.
"Don't interrupt me again,"
"Yes ma'am," he steps even closer and now we're face to face, it starts snowing outside again.
"I know this isn't going to end well, maybe it will," I mumble, "But the thing is I've been thinking about it for a long time and even though you think we're not friends, and we've never been- "
"-Can I please clarify that?" he asks and I shake my head.
"No,"
"I need to," he groans, and I look at him. What if he says something worse? I'll lose all the confidence I've built up but I still nod, "I said you were never a friend to me because you always meant more."
