#41 in Spiritual 2/3/17.
Religion. It's a big part of you. Some would say that religion is basically who you are.
All her life Amira has been told who she is. What she is.
A Muslim girl.
But the more she learns about her religion the more she r...
To make up for the lack of updates here's the longest chapter I've ever written, hope you enjoy, some parts are pretty graphic- the bits about Scarlet's dad and if you can't handle things like that then I suggest you skip it, anyway, I promise I'm gonna start updating weekly, this time I mean it since exams are finally over. And Ramadan Mubarak to everyone who celebrates! :)
xoxo
Vivian
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Once Khadija is gone, I don't know what to do with myself. A part of me understands what Seid is trying to do- he thinks I need to be rekindled with my religion to find peace and I get that he wants to play missionary, but the problem is that he doesn't understand that nothing will work on me. I'm not going to get inspired by a beautiful girl in a hijab who looks like she has her life figured out nor am I going to completely change everything I've ever been taught because I stumbled upon a book.
Allowing myself to feel angry, I start walking around aimlessly through the apartment and stop at Seid's bedroom door. He isn't back yet, yet for some reason I feel like there's something waiting for me on the other side of the door. Knowing full well that what I'm doing is wrong- I open the door and step into his room for the first time since he has inhabited it.
The smell of cologne is the first to hit me. The place is a mess to say the very least, which is surprising considering how well put and organized he seems to be. I expertly step around all the articles of random clothing on the floor and make my way to his study table. Every square inch of which is covered with books. Rummaging through and finding nothing interesting, I spot some photographs that he's put up over the table. There are plenty of him Jared and Marrs, there are also some of Seid with people I don't recognize with backdrops I don't recognize, and then there's one of him and Zayn wearing identical tux, posing in front of what appears to be a front door. They share the same bored, irritable expressions and I imagine Mr. or Mrs. Mulfar must have forced the two to pose together.
It's been a while since I've seen Zayn, I never really give myself much time to think about him which is a good thing because I have all but forced myself to believe that he never really happened. That I'm not a betrothed teenager and that Seid isn't in fact my future brother in law who I'm living with. I think a part of me wants things to work out with Zayn- the part that I've allowed to get influenced by my mother's constant chiding and beliefs about marriage the most.
As I touch one of the photographs in which Seid looks to be about thirteen and is posing in front of lake, a folded piece of paper falls out. Reaching out, I slowly unfold it, not knowing what to expect but knowing full well that I'm invading his privacy. Oddly enough the piece of paper has a list of names, all female.
