Black Butler Imagines

Hello

Hey guys.

Im sorry for being so quiet, but as Im sure you all know, I am always being imbued with problems. It surprises me that you guys all stick with me.

Recently, my mum went into hospital for what was a minor operation, but its left her bedridden for a couple days and even then I wont even be allowed to stray far from the house, as my primary job will to play mother hen. My mum needs me to look after my brother, and what kind of a sister would I be if I refused?

It does give me some free time, however, as I have a week off college now. I quit 6th form to take a college course, the workload was too much and the teachers were too bullying. Its done me good so far, but, Im still struggling.

The reason why is that me, my mum and almost everyone else I speak to believes I need counselling or some form of psychological help. At the moment, the most likely thing seems to be that I have mild depression. It doesnt help that I have to do an online course about it and cant help but agree with all the case studies of personal experiences. I am trying to get it sorted, but my family will always come first -- I even have to admit to completely disregarding my own health to a point where it got a bit stupid.

Its almost funny, in a dark and sick way. I always thought myself to be like a statue. Just, empty. That was all there was. Nothing inside. Now, thats what I am. I havent let any kind of emotion out for a long time. Havent cried properly for a very long time. I thought I could shoulder everyone else's problems, but I could barely carry mine.

It makes it worse when I think I'm only 16. Mum likes to say I'm 16 going on 30. Shes not wrong.

Anyways, I might be writing, I might not. But I have a new book in the slow making, a Black Butler fanfic, I might post the synopsis if you guys are interested, so say as much in the comments, and I'll try as hard as I can to make it back to you. I just need to find the spark that led me here in the first place, that spark that made me adore writing with all my heart, then maybe I can return. But, at the same time, I cant make any promises.

But I know you guys will stick by me, and that is why I adore you all so much. Thank you, my wonderful friends.

Until the next time,
Farewell my Lord/Lady/Friends

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