Secrets // An Ashton Irwin FanFic

Chapter Twenty-Three

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

ASHTON’S POV

Hadley didn’t really talk the rest of the night. I tried and tried as hard as I could to help her, but she stayed so distant from me. I would occasionally hear her sobs next to me in bed. I could tell she couldn’t sleep, and neither could I. 

I stared up at the ceiling. It was so dark. I wasn’t able to see anything. The ceiling somehow reminded me of the situation I was in. It was just a big black hole, hiding things in it’s darkness. A few moments later, Hadley’s voice broke the silence.

“Ashton?” Her voice cracked, obviously trying to hide the fact that she was still crying.

“Yeah?”

“What are we going to do?” She asked in a broken voice that felt like a dagger in the heart.

“I don’t know, baby. But I swear to God that I’m going to do everything and anything to take care of you and this baby. You two mean everything to me now. Hadley, I love you so much.” I took a deep breath, and just as I was about to speak again, Hadley stole the silence. 

“W-we can’t keep it, Ashton.”

“You want an abortion?”

“No. What I meant is that we can’t keep the baby once it’s born. We won’t be able to provide it with what real parents could. It deserves parents who can be there twenty-four seven. You’re about to leave to go on tour again, and this baby deserves both of its parents. It wouldn’t be fair.” No, no, no, no. What wasn’t fair was the fact she came up with that decision without even talking to me.

“But you could—” Her words started to sting. The way she was talking felt like she was trying to end what we had together, and I couldn’t lose her.

“I’m not going on tour with you, Ashton. I love you, but I can’t be away from my parents for that long.”

“Marry me,” I spat out. I didn’t really think about what I was saying before I actually said it, but I didn’t care at this point. I couldn’t lose her. Hadley fell silent, and before I knew it, the room was lit up by the glow of her phone’s flashlight. She rose out of bed and headed to the door. 

HADLEY’S POV

Ashton had really set me off. He was just saying whatever he could in order for me to stay with him and keep the baby. I just needed alone time. No one understood. I needed to be alone and clear my head. I hustled out of his room and down the stairs, before going out of the backdoor. I walked past the pool, and struggled to find the gate leading to the beach. As soon as I found the nob, I turned it and headed out into the sound. 

I couldn’t hear foot steps behind me, so I allowed myself to breakdown. I kicked sand up into the air as tears started rushing down my cheeks. A soft whimper escaped my lips as I fell to the ground. My life was going down a spiral leading to hell at an unbelievably fast rate. 

I let a yell leave my mouth as well as I rose to my feet again. I didn’t have control of my body anymore. I paced around like a madwoman before I felt a gentle grasp on my shoulder. I spun around to see Ashton looking at me. He had some sort of damaged look to his face, but it didn’t have an affect on me. I pushed him backwards and glared at him.

“Get the fuck away from me! This is all your fault! If I hadn’t have talked to you that one day you came over to hang out with Alex, none of this would be happening! I fucking hate you, Ashton. Go away!” I screamed and started walking further down the beach. He didn’t come after me. He just stayed still in the sand.

ASHTON’S POV

“Get the fuck away from me! This is all your fault! If I hadn’t have talked to you that one day you came over to hang out with Alex, none of this would be happening! I fucking hate you, Ashton. Go away!” I couldn’t bring myself to believe that Hadley had actually said that. It was so unlike her. It took me a few moments to regain words and go after her.

“Hadley!” I yelled as I ran after her. I grabbed onto her wrist, but she tried pulling away. I grabbed onto both of them and held tightly. “Jesus Christ, Hadley! I know you’re upset but it doesn’t give you the right to push away the one who loves you the most. I fucked up! What else do you want me to say?! You know how sorry I am, and if I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat. But you’re literally my everything. You are the reason I wake up in the morning with motivation to face another day in the shitty world we love in. I love you so fucking much. You are the reason there is light in my world. Without you, everything is black. I fucking need you.” She kept struggling in my grasp, but I held on tighter. “God dammit, Hadley! Listen to me! I fucking love you!” She finally looked up, but wouldn't make eye contact. “Hadley, please…” My voice cracked as I pleaded for her. Her eyes fluttered up to mine and finally allowed me to gaze into hers.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I need you,” I confessed and slowly let go of her wrists. She kept staring into my eyes. Something about hers were different. They were broken. Her eyelids closed over her eyes as she gave in and rested her head in the crook of my neck. I carefully wrapped my arms around her and placed a soft kiss on her head. “This isn’t going to be easy, but I’m going to try my hardest for you.”

“I love you,” She muttered into my chest.

“I love you more.”

“If you say so.”

* * *

HADLEY’S POV

I woke up around three in the afternoon. I was emotionally and physically drained. I rolled over to find Ashton reading next to me. He was supposed to leave to record that day, but he must’ve canceled. 

“Hey,” I said softly, my voice groggy from being exhausted.

“Morning, baby,” He smiled softly and set his book down. I gave him a smile back and rolled onto my back. Ashton laid down in the bed and pulled me close to his warm body. I watched as he arms wrapped around my waist. I grabbed his forearm and flipped it over, revealing a tattoo of what looked like to be the roots of a flower.

“What’ s that?”

“They’re roots of a Dehlia flower. I got it awhile ago. I remember you telling me that they were your favorite so I got the roots tattooed to my wrist.”

“Why the roots? They’re ugly.”

“That’s my point. They’re not ugly. They’re what cause the flower to bloom into beautiful flowers. It represents the beauty underneath. It’s proving that what’s truly beautiful is on the underneath and it’s not just based on looks,” He traced circles onto my side as he spoke, causing goose pimples to form on my skin. I turned in his grasp to look at him. He smiled softly and brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes. “It’s like you. You never believe me when I tell you how beautiful you are, both on the inside and out.”

I could feel my cheeks starting to catch fire, and I looked away from him, embarrassed. His words caused my stomach to fill with butterflies and flip.

“Ashton, I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t know how to react. I felt like I needed to push you out of my life in order to make it easier on the both of us. I was acting so dumb and selfish.”

“It’s okay. I get it. Sometimes your emotions are too much to deal with so you just try to push everyone away. I do it too.”

(Hey guys! I just wanted to say thank you for getting me to 2.7K reads! It means a lot. Please please please make sure you vote. It won’t even take two seconds. Also, please share on twitter or whatever social media you use, the more reads this gets, the more motivated I am to write. I hope I don’t sound selfish… I love you guys!! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!! Also, if you mention me on twitter (@australianstars) an say you're a reader and share the link to my story, I’ll give you a shoutout on twitter and in my next author’s note! love you all xx)