gone boy. reddie

10| GONE BOY

"All that I want is to wake up fine, tell me that I'm alright, that I ain't gonna die. All that I want is a hole in the ground, you can tell me when it's alright for me to come out."

-Paramore

(Hard Times, Paramore)

5. Richie,

Something happened. Something happened. Something freaking happened. I'm not crazy, there was a moment and for the first time in forever it was between me and you... I decided to gain the courage to ask you what happened with Lizzy, and you told me that it wasn't important. Then you told me there was something much more important to talk about. I was so nervous, Richie, I even snuck a few puffs of my inhaler. There was so much going on already, so I was afraid of something being added. My heart was in my stomach the moment you grabbed my hands. I don't know what you were doing but I want to find out.

Before you could even say anything to me, Peter was right by my side. He wanted to talk to me too. I guess it was just wrong timing. I really want to know what you were going to say. You were acting the same way you did when you came over to my house. I might be crazy but I feel like I saw that look. The look I give Peter. The look Peter gives me. The look I forced myself to stop giving you. I saw that look in your eyes, I don't know who it was for but it made me anxious. I never thought I would see that look from you.

Mike KEEPS telling me that I should tell you how I feel before I even think about getting with Peter. I told him that Peter wasn't the second choice and that I was going to do it. He just said it would be wrong, he also pointed out that Peter definitely wasn't the first choice. I couldn't really say anything back because I already know who my first choice would be and that's you. Mike says that he wants me to be a real happy and not a fake one.

Richie looked up from the paper and turned to Mike. "So was he really happy?" he asked. He bit the inside of his cheek as he waited for Mike to answer. There was no win for Richie. If he was happy, it wasn't with him. If he wasn't happy, he wasn't there to make him feel better. Richie wanted everything to slow down, time was going by too fast. He felt like just yesterday he was a five-year-old who knew nothing but happiness and jokes. Now, he was a seventeen-year-old and he knew way too much.

"Was he happy?" Mike repeated the question, he thought about it for a minute. He sighed while shaking his head, "He left didn't he?"

"So he wasn't," Richie mumbled.

Some people are made for each other. Even though they're made for each other, it doesn't mean they'll end up together. Most soulmates don't end up together because they're never put together at the right time. It either happens too soon or too late. There's usually no in between. I wish there were. The person you're made for or your dreams? Which one would you choose? I would pick the person I'm made for because they would be worth throwing the dream away for. Actually, I think they make your dream look like shit and they become your new one. That's just my opinion though, it would probably be much smarter if you chose your dreams.

I just thought of this, have you ever realized that there are twenty-four hours in a day, seven days in a week, and twelve months in a year. That's not a lot. Every second we're getting closer to something, death, our dreams, our soulmates, our future, or anything. I've spent sixteen of my years doing nothing. I've wasted all that time and I'm never gonna get it back. All the memories I have with you and the losers are just memories. They're gone now. Just thinking of how much time any of us have left, scares me. I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I don't know who will be with who and I don't know who's going to do what. All I know is that we're all gonna die at some point. We were born losers and we'll die as losers.

There isn't going to be anything dedicated to us once we're gone. Once I leave, it's going to be a regular day for the rest of the world. Nobody is going to really care. That's life and I know that now. It doesn't matter what anybody does, someday we're just gonna be people who walked the streets of Derry who were too old to function. It doesn't freak me out that much, I mean it does, but it happens to everybody.

I think too much. I have a lot of time on my hands and I end up thinking about life and what's going to happen. I wish I could just live in the moment. I wish I could do crazy things without giving them a second thought. I wish I could get ice cream right now. I wish I could just go up to you right now and say everything I've ever wanted to say. I wish I could be bold. That's not really who I am though. I guess that's why I enjoy it so much when you challenge me.

Time is moving fast and that means I'm leaving very soon.

One thing I know I'll regret is never telling you I love you, so here it goes, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Love,

Gone Boy.

Richie smiled before folding the paper and setting it down. "Alright, guys," he spoke up. "Since all of us are here, we can finally have a group meeting. It's about Eddie and Georgie. I want to find them."

"Okay," Beverly said. "So how do you plan on doing that?"

"As you guys know, this is our last week of school," Richie began. "To start off our summer- I say after next week, three of us go on a road trip and the other three stay here."

"A road trip?" Stanley questioned. "How is that gonna help us find Georgie and Eddie?"

"Just wait," Richie rolled his eyes. "Who's staying and who's going. I'll start off by saying that I'm gonna be one out of three going on the road trip. You guys can choose who goes and who stays. I don't really care."

"I'll go with you," Mike said quickly.

"Good, I need your help," he nodded his head at his friend. "Who else?"

"Me," Ben added. "I'll go. I haven't been to a lot of places but I've studied every single place in the world."

"Sounds good," Richie said. "Are you three okay with staying here?"

"Yep," Stan muttered. "I'll stay with Bill."

"And I'll be the third wheel with these two," Beverly commented.

"Okay, so the plan," Richie started. "Me, Ben, and Mike, we'll look for Eddie. And Bev, Stan, and Bill stay here and look for Georgie. None of us should search alone- so I think we should always stay together."

"Maybe something good will finally happen to us," Mike stated.

A/N: A road trip with your three favorites. That seems like everything to me. Anyway, that was the end of this chapter. I hope you guys liked it.

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