Not The Same || Jai Brooks

23. Taking Risks

Ok. Before you read this chapter, I need your help. Where can you find The Fault In Our Stars(Book) online, for free because I'm poor. :))))) lol jk But I reaaaaallly wanna read it & I can't find it anywhere :/ So if you know where to get it for freeeeee, message me, or comment! xo

___________________

The days flew by, and now we only have one more day left with Jai then he's gonna leave for tour. I'm not really sure how I should be feeling about it, of course I'm sad, but I'm not breaking apart. I should have been aware that this was gonna happen, but I didn't want it to happen so I pushed it to the back of my head. Which was very selfish of me, but I couldn't help my feelings.

It's just really hard being away from him, after spending a chunk of my life that I remember with him, so yes, it's hard. I'm just gonna have to push through it. 

It's only 3 months until we see each other again, it's not too long. I pressure myself into believing.

It shouldn't be that hard to wait 3 months.. right? That's only 92 days...It's not that bad.. I think I can live with 92...

There are so many things we need to talk about though, and we won't be able to for six months. We still have to talk about schooling arrangements for the twins, and he hasn't even said anything about my birthday which is pretty offensive. I mean, I'm turning 22, but I know he has other things to worry about so I'm not gonna take it personal.

The fact that Jai and I haven't even acknowledged the conversation, consisting of engagement worried me as well. Maybe he didn't want to marry me in the first place? Maybe we were just moving too fast, and calling off the engagement was a good idea. It's not like I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life with him anyways, but then again, I'm the one who called it off.

I rubbed my temples as I shuffled out of the livingroom into the kitchen where Jai and the twins were at.

"What's for lunch?" I smile at Jai, while he cooked something on the stove.

"I cannot tell you m'lady." he winked at me, turning around for a second to look at me, and then back at his food.

"Smells like beef." I guessed and he shook his head.

"You should stop guessing...please." he laughed and I shook my head playfully at him and turned my attention to the twins.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked, placing my elbows on the counter and resting my chin in my hands.

"Daddy gave us paper and markers, so we're making pictures for yall." Destiny said with a wide smile.

"Oooh, intriguing. Can I see it?" I wriggled my eyebrows at her and she laughed.

"No!" Daniel shouted, standing up in his chair.

I let out a laugh before stopping myself. "Excuse me sir, sit down in your chair. Why can't I see it?"

"Because mummy." he whined. "It's supposed to be a surprise." he pouted.

"Okay, okay. I won't say anything else about it." I smiled and turned back to Jai.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso and rested my head on his back. "I wish you guys would stop trying to give me surprise things." I mumbled into his back.

"I wish you would stop trying to figure out what we're surprising you with." he chuckled, turning around in while still in my grip.

"I don't want you to leave..." I sighed. "Who's going to make me surprise lunches now?" I let out a small laugh.

"I don't want to leave you.. I want to be the only one making lunches for you. Except for yourself of course." he shrugged and I smacked him.

I let go of him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, "You should check your food so it doesn't burn." I smiled up at him.