AN: ah sorry guys in really bad at updating when I say I will. I'm trying to get my grades up and I had a concert I went to. Where I met IM5 with mah bestie. Any who, I'm also trying to write more of that other fic so ahhh!! And finals are coming up ugh. Comments would be lovely guys. Okay, here's the chapter. Much love.
≫Devon⇒
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~•~Chapter Thirty-Two~•~
--Riley POV--
I wake up but keep my eyes closed and exhale deeply. I feel a hand run through my hair and I blink my eyes open and squint against the sun.
"Hey... How are you?" I look up and see Riss, the sun creating a sort of halo around her face. After awhile of no response from me she tilts her head slightly. "Ri? You okay?"
"Huh, yeah, I'm, I'm good. Fantastic." I smile and brush her hair behind her ear and lick my bottom lip nervously. It was almost like when I first started liking her.
"You sure?" She puts her hand over mine. I nod and take her hand. "I really wanna get out of here."
"Let me see what I can do." I kiss the back of her hand and get up. "I shall return." I smile and walk out to find a nurse. Once I find one I ask if I could get a wheelchair for Riss so I could take her to see everyone. It took a while but I finally convinced her. We got her loaded into it and I wheeled her to Connor's room occasionally kissing the top of her head. As we get closer to Connor's room we can hear him and Toby talking. I walk in with Riss and Toby's face lights up.
"Riss!!" He runs over and hugs her and she smiles wide.
"Hey, Toby! You've been keeping an eye on your brothers for me?" She laughs and he nods.
"Yep, I have." He grins proud of himself. They talk and I walk over to Connor.
"She's up." He smiles and looks at me. "Dude you okay?"
"Of course I am. Why?" I look at him confused.
"You're crying?" He furrows his brow and I touch my cheek.
"I didn't even realise." I murmur and look at my hand. Toby pushes Riss over to us and I smile.
"Hey, wheelchair buddies!" Connor jokes and she laughs. "Yeah, I'll be out of this thing by the end of the week though." He smiles softly and reaches over a ruffles her hair. She laughs and pushes Connor's hand away and yawns.
"Why does being asleep for two weeks make you so tired." She rubs her eye then looks at me.
"You want to go back and rest?" I ask softly and she nods. "Okay, we'll be back later guys." They both nod and I take her back to her room.
--Connor POV--
I look after Riley and Riss as they leave.
"Dude, why are you staring?" Toby waves a hand in front of my eyes and I blink.
"I'm just worried about him." I shake my head.
"About Riley?" Toby asks and I nod. "Why, he'll be fine. He's got Riss back, right?"
"I mean mentally and emotionally. I'm worried that he might do something drastic." I look at Toby who frowns.
--Riley POV--
I help Riss into bed and she grabs my wrist. I bite my lip then chew on it. I sigh as she pushes up my sleeve, revealing cuts in various stages of healing. I look down and avoid eye contact.
"Ri..." She speaks sadly. "I'm sorry, this was my fault." She wasn't mad? I look up at her.
"I'm sorry." My voice cracks as I blink back tears. "I was just, just..." I swallow thickly and look down again. She kisses my wrist softly. "I'm sorry, I fucked up." I whisper.
"Shh. Riley. Don't say that. Look at me." She reaches out, soft fingers brushing against my jaw. I hesitantly look up at her. "I know, okay. You hurt on the inside so you hurt yourself on the outside too."
"But now you're back and I can, I can stop." I feel the tears begin to stream down my face.
"It's hard to stop. You know that, you saw me."
"You can help me." I whisper in pain. I never wanted to do this to her, she didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve her. "Please."
She moves and holds my face with both hands and nods. It was then I noticed that she was crying too. I never wanted to hurt her. Never. And now that's all I've done.
"Shhh, Ri. I got you." She runs a hand through my hair. "I always will." She whispers and pulls me closer. "Lay with me please." I nod and carefully get on the hospital bed next to her.
She was small enough so I could fit onto the bed as well. I look at my wrist and push my sleeve down. I still hurt deep down but I didn't bother to tell her that. She kissed me harshly and my eyes widen in surprise but I kiss her back deeply and nip at her bottom lip. She holds the back of my neck as she pulls back slightly.
"Sorry." I mumble through the temporary feeling of numbness. She shakes her head and smiles at me.
"I needed that just as much as you did. I was out for two weeks remember." She smiles softly and lays back down and quickly falls asleep. After about an hour I get up and go to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I was a wreck. My pale face in stark comparison of my blood shot eyes and dark bags under them. I lick my lips as I pull the razor out from my pocket. I turn it around in my fingers watching the light from the flickering bulb reflect off of it. My brain told me 'throw it away, throw it away' but the rest of me screamed 'keep it, you need it, you crave it'. After a few more seconds I give in. I push up my sleeve, I run the blade across my skin, not putting enough pressure to cut but enough to feel it. I get to my wrist and bite my lip, slowly cutting the skin. I watched the blood as it reacted to an escape. At first it just sat there, but more that found the wound eventually pushed the original blood out of the way. I wash the razor as I watch the blood circle my arm. I grabbed a paper towel and carefully washed the new mark. I made a make shift bandage out of paper towels. I sat on the floor as the numbness returned. Completely numb aside from the dull sting in my wrist. Once the bleeding stopped most of the way I made a new bandage, taping it off with some medical tape I snagged off a cart. I grabbed the bloody debris and threw it in the biohazard box as I walked past it. I went to the cafeteria and bought a bottled frap and candy bar. I payed then went back to Riss' room. She was still asleep. I leave quietly and go and sit in the courtyard behind the hospital and exhale deeply as I feel the sun on my skin. I had almost forgotten what it felt like, I keep my arm raised as much as I can to keep the bleeding down. I don't know why I was trying so hard to hide it from her, she'd know either way.
YOU ARE READING
A Soldier Between The Raindrops {Before You Exit FanFic}
Fanfictie"You son of a bitch!" I snap as he walks up. "You said you'd protect her, you said you wouldn't let anything happen to her, to any of us!" Tears sting at my eyes, threatening to flow. "I know I'm so-" "No." I cut him off sharply. "Sorry doesn't cut...
