one of these days I'll have the courage to tell you how much you make me hate living and how much I dislike talking to you in anyway shape or form but for now I am too scared for your health to do so even though I don't quite see a point in egging it on I do anyway because I'm a fucking dumb ass when it comes to handling anything regarding the emotions of other people which in fact is probably why I hate myself so much.
because I associate with fucking over obsessive assholes like you that literally ruin my trust and emotions and fucking fuck me up, you make me wanna fucking die, and I swear whenever I talk to you I'm on the verge of fucking years because it hurts //that// badly.
but can I tell you that? No because there's no fucking fixing it
It's flawed from the start and it was flawed til it fucking ended
Sure it hurts but in all fucking reality it fucking hurt us both so maybe just maybe it wasn't a friendship or anything like that it was just forced so suffering seemed like it wasn't as bad
But when fucking You get out of a situation and you realize just how bad it is you realize fucking
How much a situation fucked you over
Like geez?? I don't actually feel that suicidal these days unless I'm at my fathers or I'm talking to YOU and I think that's not super fucking coincidental that when you were a dominant presence i always felt like I was fucking suffocating with a few hints of positivity.
So fucking, I wonder why I'm so fucked up as a person??? Wonder who helped fuel that fucking fire g e e I sure do wonder fucking who fucked me up
I know a lot of shut fucked me up before hand but literally fucking
You fucking suck?? And I guess you're just not a good person for me you're extremely fucking toxic and anfucking asshole and you know what?? I can't handle it. In fact I don't want to handle it anymore, I don't see why I HAVE to do so
If I didn't fucking care I fucking wouldn't because you're not my fucking responsibility but I still for some reason treat you like you fucking are
You're not anyone's responsibility except your own really, and news fucking flash everyone's life kinda fucking sucks
But you know!! Life doesn't get better on its own!! You gotta work for it!! And I know I complain I hate life a lot but I do work to make it better!! I do do things to try and make it suck less because that's all you fucking can do!! So one day it doesn't suck! maybe you should do that instead of clinging to people and not letting them fucking go!be cause god forbid anyone not pay attention to you
And ugh point is you
Make me wanna fucking vomit you're the fucking worst person I've ever met
