I love when I panic because I'm a lazy asshat and spend an hour searching for the key to my future because I didn't do anything for it.
ye a h
the day before school starts
And the day after one of the worsts nights of my life
And the same day my dad informs me he's gonna See us
And the same day my brother makes me watch his screaming dog for four hours when I'm trying to rationalize I should live
and the same day after I've snapped at two people who probably give a slight fuck about me
wow golly
I love life
and instead of doing art stuff to
show I'm an artist.
I watched a series, cried myself to sleep. Stayed up til seven everyday just to momentarily forget the pain that I'm alive.and the only thing I drew over the break isn't even productive.
because I hate myself and have no push to live anymore, and no confidence
I used to look at myself and think wow golly gee I sure am smart gonna be top of everything
and now I realize I'm a fucking moron.
and yeah my parents and friends are still like oh you're so smart but fuck I'm not.
I alternatively wonder if all smart people just look themselves in the mirror and think " wow what a retard"
Because if so oof
because a billion people are smarter then me or more talented
my coloring skills are the only redeeming quality I have and you know who else can color? Fuckin eight year olds
