silence. +martinus gunnarsen+

reliving

alex pov//

i was sitting on the couch watching the tv. mom came in the door and she didnt seem her usual self.

i know she had been stressed out lately with work and all. her boss had been giving her a hard time with her work.

mom is so smart. she is a math genius and is currently working to solve and prove a theorum right now.

usually mom says hi and all, but she hadn't spoken a word. i heard her walk into the bathroom and shut the door.

she had been in there for a while. i had noticed. my brother wasn't home from practice yet. i got up from the couch and went to knock on the door.

i didnt get a response. i kept banging my fist against the door. i was screaming.

alex-"mom! mom!"

i took all the strength in me, but i finally managed to get the door open. i almost wish i hadn't.

i went down on the floor and shook her. i tried to splash water on her, but i realized i needed something more.

i got up with tears rushing down my face. i called for help from the ambulences hoping they would get here soon and mom would be okay.

i don't understand, why did she take all those pills? i waited in the bathroom crying my eyes out, trying to keep her alive.

her heart wasn't beating anymore. it was too late. it was just too late. i was screaming for the police officers to let go of me.

she couldn't be gone. what would i tell my brother? where were we going to go?

alex-"mom please don't go."

i woke up with my heart beating so fast. those dreams still haven't stopped. i keep reliving it. seeing it only makes it hurt more.

i felt the tears rushing down my face. it was morning. how was i supposed to go downstairs like this and not say a word about how i'm hurting.

i couldn't even make the sounds, no noises came out of my mouth. just tears down my face. i'm not going to be able to make it.

i don't have to go downstairs right? did i need to eat breakfast. i don't think so, i mean i'm not hungry. i know i'm going to have to be forcefed which i really don't want.

the door was slightly open, i must have not shut it all the way. i could see blonde hair peeking through.

it was gerd anne. thank god. i don't want one of the boys seeing me cry on my second day here.

gerd anne-"alex, it's time for breakfast."

she saw my face and came closer to me. she sat on the bed and gave me a hug. she gave really good hugs.

it only made me cry harder because she was such a good friend to my mother, and i know how much they cared about each other.

gerd anne-"i know it hurts alex. i miss her too. your mother was an amazing person. she was kind, funny and one of the most intelligent people i know."

she kept hugging me and was stroking my hair. i let go of her and looked in her brown eyes.

gerd anne-"do you think about her?"

so much. i just nodded my head.

gerd anne-"well today is all about you. you can design your room however you want. we can paint it if you like or hang things up, whatever you want."