The Professor's Princess

15 | fifteen

| chapter fifteen - quarreling |

"So you're happy with a casual ceremony and reception? You aren't just saying that to make me happy?" Severus pressed, he'd been doing this a lot throughout our morning of wedding planning.

I shook my head, "Severus, I'm not just agreeing to this for you. I've spent my whole life attending over sophisticated events and I never enjoyed the size of them."'

I rested my hand absentmindedly on my stomach as I looked over our weddings plan, we had decided on a simple ceremony beside a stream and the reception would be held on the grounds of Hogwarts.

"I think that just about covers everything," I said as I flicked through my notebook one last time, "We just need to decide on our bridal party."

Severus traced his top lip with one long, slender finger, "I was thinking Logan, Noah and Ryan."

I nodded and wrote that down, "And I am going to have Kat, Mel and Andy."

Severus nodded but then frowned, "Em, who is walking you down the aisle?"

I looked up at him and shrugged, "I'm going to ask Andy to do me the honour of that."

Severus smiled and got up off the bed, "We should probably go shopping today because you have school this week."

I nodded and we headed to collect my friends.

~

"That's it! That's the one!" Squealed a very excited Melanie. Her, Kat and Andy were lounged on the couch while I tried on dress after dress.

I looked in the mirror at the dress I was wearing, it had short sleeves with a long, layered skirt and a lace bodice. I gave a little twirl and smiled as I decided that this was definitely the one.

"It's perfect!" I squealed and grinned like an idiot. I took the dress off and paid for it before shrinking it down and giving it to Melanie so that Severus wouldn't see it.

We left the bridal store and headed to a fancy restaurant in central London. Severus and I had decided against having an engagement party and bucks and hens nights, so instead we were going to have a nice dinner in London with our friends.

The men were already there when we got there and Severus stood up to pull my chair out for me, "Thank you darling," I said with a smile.

"I can't believe it's finally happening," I said as I ate my meal.

Severus smiled at me from across the table, "I have waited so long for this," he responded.

"As have I my love," I beamed at him.

After dinner we all apparated back to Hogsmeade and trekked up to Hogwarts. When we passed through the gates Severus pulled me to face him, "I want to show you something."

I smiled and turned to my friends, "Thank you all for today, we both really appreciate it."

Severus nodded, "Yes we do. Now off to bed with all of you, it's well past curfew."

Everyone laughed, "Yes Professor Snape."

Severus chuckled, "Some nerve you all have."

Severus and I watched our friends walk back to the castle before I turned to Severus, "Now my love, what is it you have to show me?"

A warm smile graced Severus's face, a smile that would never get old to me. He squeezed my hand and turned and started walking towards the Black Lake.

We walked in a comfortable silence over the grassy hills towards a small cluster of trees. Severus lead me over to the trees motioned for me to sit on his lap as he sat on the grass.

Severus kissed my shoulder blade as I looked around at our surroundings. The grass sparkled with the beginnings of fresh dew, the moonlight making every droplet look like a diamond.

I looked out over the Black Lake, at the reflection of the moonlight gently rippling across the lake's surface. The breeze blew softly and Severus wrapped his arms around mine to keep me warm.

I leant back against his chest, "It's beautiful here," I murmured as I continued to take in the beauty.

"I found it in one of my late night brooding sessions," Severus sighed before continuing, "I had become shut off due to Lily dying a mere two months prior," Severus paused again and I said nothing and waited to see if he would continue.

Severus took a shaky breath and I wondered if he was crying, I wasn't going to turn around to check because I didn't want to emotionally suffocate him.

"I was so angry at everything. At Dumbledore for not keeping her safe, at Voldemort for killing her despite my pleas, at my father for making me into a monster, but mostly, I was so angry at myself for becoming the monster my father made me into," Severus's voice was a mix of anger, regret and sorrow.

I felt something drip onto my shoulder and realised Severus was crying. I didn't turn to him but I knew it was my turn to speak.

I sighed, "Severus, you had every right to be angry, but you should not have been angry at yourself. You were nineteen when the Dark Lord recruited you, you were young and impressionable."

Severus rubbed my arm, "That doesn't excuse doing awful things Emilia, I watched people get tortured, hell I tortured several people myself."

I huffed, "When are you going to get it through your thick head that people change Severus? Yeah you may have tortured people, but that was years ago and you were scared and just trying to stay alive. Stop calling yourself a monster, because you are not a monster!"

"I was then, and that is the reason Lily Potter and her family died! That is why Harry Potter has grown up an orphan, it's all because of me," Severus argued.

I spun off Severus's lap and knelt in front of here, "Now you listen here Severus, none of what happened was your fault! I'm sick of listening to you degrade yourself and make yourself out to be the monster parents spend their lives telling their children not to worry about!"

Severus sighed, "Em please don't be mad at me, we've never quarrelled before."

I shook my head, "This is not quarrelling Severus, this is me telling you that the past is the past and you can't change it. What you can change is your circumstance, you took yourself from this monster that you're so adamant on making yourself out to be and became 'Severus Snape, the world's finest Potions Master, amazing Potions Professor, all around badass, father of my child, and the love of my life.'"

Severus had tears in his eyes, "I cannot begin to tell you how much what you just said makes me feel. I love you so much, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I've changed."

I shook my head and leant over and kissed him, "You don't need to, you already have."

Severus pulled me onto his lap and I wrapped my legs around his waist, "I love you my darling Emilia."

I stroked Severus's smooth cheek, "I love you too my love, and I'm so sorry for yelling at you but I had to make you see how good a man you are."

Severus kissed me softly, "You have no reason to apologise. I see now how wrong I was about myself, thank you for opening my eyes."

I smiled and kissed him again and again and again. We sat kissing in the moonlight for a long time before Severus pulled away, "Let's get you inside, you're carrying precious cargo and you need sleep."

I nodded, "You're right."

Severus kissed my forehead, "I know."

***